Links and Chains
“Leig nisht dein hant in tash,” my father tells my son. It’s like my own childhood all over again. Hands in pockets were always considered wrong. It was never explained.
It’s Friday night and the three of us walk home from shul together. Others too are taking advantage of the warm weather despite the piles of blackened snow around us. Fathers and sons stroll casually, some of them engrossed in deep conversation, others just walking quietly. Groups of girls play noisily, most of them dressed in almost identical black shabbos robes. Every once in a while a newly married couple passes us, he in a brand new shtreimel, she in a fur trimmed coat. There are few cars on the street and the usually busy neighborhood is enveloped in unusual serenity.
“Farvoos, zaidy?” my son asks as we pass by a Hatzoloh SUV illegally blocking a driveway. Hints of orange gear can be seen through the heavily tinted windows. In shabbos mode, in case of an emergency.
We pass a group of people standing on the corner, lingering over the last bits of gossip. One of them looks familiar and we politely nod, “Git Shabbos.”
“Veil azoy geit a goy,” my father says, lovingly stroking his einikel’s cheek. My son was the first to be named after his great-grandfather, and although my father loves all his einiklech, everyone knows my son is his favorite. My son, in turn, adores his zaidy.
I watch the two of them walking together. Hand in hand. My young son, face scrubbed clean for Shabbos, eyes shining as he makes a mental note to keep his hands out of his pockets. That’s the way he is, carefully respecting authority and eagerly accepting new teachings. His personality is already clearly defined. So like me when I was his age.
I don’t question my father for a source, or get into a debate on the merits of this custom, rooted as it is in our desperate desire to be different from those around us. I don’t make him look bad in front of my son. It would be pointless. Besides, why ruin the moment?
We are part of a beautiful chain. Father to son. Some call it links. Others call it shackles. Same difference.
Printable Version
Ah, Yonah, your father didnt reveal the real reason behind it. Should I? Ok, here it is, you might wake up the snake and make him crawl out of his cage..
RC, are you entertained?
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My friend’s mother would stitch together his pants pockets.
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I would be very entertained were not my pockets repeatedley inspected for holes by my teachers when I was young.
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Yonah, nicely done.
Ahhh, the friday night stroll home from shul, fathers and sons holding hands, its one of those precious moments that keeps it all together.
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Why not? Simple. You shouldn’t be a נוגע בדבר!
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mzol nisht cholila poigem zain in kdishas hayesoid!!!!!
what’s that?
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Oiy chevrah, I think frummer might be right. Too much sex talk on this blog lately. I feel the way I feel after eating too much chocolate.
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Hoezen T – chocolate is supposed to be healthy for the heart according to the latest research ! Let’s not live in denial – that never solved any problem !
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HT:
Indeed. But, digging back into the dusty memories of my blogging days, I seem to remember that sex sells!
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I don’t think this story is about sex.
But I guess everyone can find what they want in it.
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So Ms. Mousy, are you suggesting that I am like the patient who was being administer a Rorschach as per a psychological evaluation?
This particular guy got really pissed at his psychologist. He called him a pervert and a pig because all this doctor was showing him were ink blots that were very pornographic in nature.
Posters of Unpious, is it you, or is it us readers?
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Hmmm… And here I thought we’ve moved on from the sex post. Is it me, or do some people just like to talk about sex — even if it means complaining about having too much of it?
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HR and HT
It’s not about the sex, these are the actual reasons why yiddish kinder don’t put their hands in their pockets. The comments pertain to the topic and it’s something Yonahs father was painfuly misinformed with, therefore it was our duty to educate him.
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Goyishe Parents also tell their children not to put their hands in the pockets…
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Rebbele,
Hmmmmmm. Please don’t tell me you don’t understand the euphemism of Veil azoy geit a goy.
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Frummer, I don’t understand the euphemism and I would venture to guess that neither did Yonah’s father when he said it.
Oh and Insider, that’s a ridiculous reason if I ever heard one.
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Shlomo
Don’t believe it if u dont want to, but that really is the reason. It really is all about the sex thing.
Yonahs father knew very well. But one just doesn’t say “Nice Yiddishe Kindalach don’t shoot pool”.
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Are you explaining a euphemism with another euphemism??? “Veil azoy geit a goy” was used in my childhood as an excuse for many “you can’ts” not just the hen tin the hoizen. I for one would like to understand once and for all what that means.
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Goyishe Parents also tell their children not to put their hands in the pockets…
No, you heard incorrectly. They were probably telling their kids not to put their hands into others’ pockets.
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S.S.
“Veil azoy geit a goy” was used in my childhood as an excuse for many “you can’ts”
You just answered your own question. The euphemism is an excuse. The real reason for the “pocketed hands aversion” is what Insider mentioned.
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Well I was told “Yad Lauma Tikztotz” A hand that Ventures down to your Private parts Shall be Cut. Self Understood that my hand was never found in a pocket.
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the biggest problem, with all this stupid minhag yisroel torahs, is. it leaves comfusion, which in turn leads in to insecurity, and the result is to scared to question if all this garbage makes sense.
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Jolly Joe, how then do you explain the 2 stubs protruding from your side?
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When I was around 11-years-old, the teacher, through the microphone in the lunchroom, asked me to remove my hands from my pockets. When I asked “why?,” he replied, “because that’s what Esau did.” I argued that it doesn’t necessarily make it a bad thing; Esau also championed kibud ov hueim.
The man’s facial reaction told me that had he been my teacher, he would’ve slapped me in the face with his thin, long fingers.
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Years ago when i was still a believer in religion, i went to the sklene rebbe for a bruche – blessing. There was this tall litvish modern guy there at the time begging the rebbe to wish him to have parnuse, (a good solid income) as he was asking from the rebbe for the bruche he had his hands in his pocket. The rebbe looked at him, and told him. If you keep your hands in your pocket then it makes you poor… of course the guy took it out immedietly and said, but rebbe, please give me a bruche and the rebbe told him again about not keeping the hand in the pocket bs. I remember that look on the face from that guy, prety frustrated, i felt relly bad for him. I think in the end he got a bruche or something. Its funny how they believe that holding your hand in your pocket is so bad. On the other hand they say, if you put the wine from sat night in your piocket that helps to have a better income… i guess you have to put the wine in really fast so its not considered holding your hands in your pocket, or it will screw up your income even after adding the wine in the pocket… go figure…
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The reason why secular parents tell their kids not to put their hands into their pockets is because your hands are there to protect your face if you trip and fall (it’s a natural reflex). Also, you naturally walk more “firmly” and safely if you swing your arms X-wise, i.e. when you put your right foot forward, your left arm should move forward, too.
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All this talk about masturbation, you guys forgot about the main point:
We are part of a beautiful chain. Father to son. Some call it links. Others call it shackles. Same difference.
But yeah, I agree, there is too much sex on this site, even though the sex always has some non-sexual point.
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Prude, there’s a rule-of-thumb: those that talk about sex the most get the least action…
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Prude:
As per Freud, all the important non-sexual points boil down to sexual points in the end. Or is it the other way around?
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Is the issur of whistling also ‘cus goyim do that, or the similar but lesser, s’nish balbatish? Lubavtchers of course have a totally different take on both the balbatish as well as the goyim issues. Hence their theology of whistling is a separate story, based on the pan-Chassidic dictum of “as the Rebbe does, so too shall all Chassidim do”. I was once told by frum know-it-al that the Zohar, somewhere or other, proscribes it. Though I’m quite conversant in the literature of Jewish mysticism, yet I went the extra bytes searching the digital version of the Zoharic texts; The Zohar, Zohar Corrections, New Zohar, New Zohar Corrections etc., to no avail. Still, while on the streets of BP I catch myself biting my tongue after whistling a few notes regardless of genre, be they; Classical, Klezmer, Country, Yomtov Erlich, Lennon or Shloimele…
A lesser known issur is interlocked fingers. Though in this case the aversion may be due to its similarity to the stance certain Christians maintain during prayer, yet, when I asked for a source I was referred to an unspecified page in an unspecified book of kabbalah. It seems to be another default (i)rationale frequently given.
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Real Yoilishes dont spell “Esau”.
They would type Eisov or something like that.
Real Yoilishes wouldn’t champion anything.
Maybe u should choose a better handle……….
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Yank, why yank my true self?
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Surprisingly, only a select few read the article beyond the first half.
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