News Roundup – Fri. 3/5
Kosher Cell Phone
Movies and TV were easy for the rabbis to ban. Cell phones and Internet access, not so much. According to a new Israeli study, the large scale campaign to ban cell phones with Internet access has failed for the most part. Only around one in four Charedim bought so-called “kosher” cellphones, many of them only in addition to a “non-kosher” device. It seems the Charedi rank and file know a baloney-ban when they sees one.
Move over Yitta Schwartz, there’s a new alteh babeh with an even greater claim to fame, albeit one from around three centuries ago. This one is recognized as the grandmother of around two million living Ashkenazi descendants, according to recent DNA studies of mitochondria. We don’t know the woman’s name, where she lived, or what kind of tzenah u’renah she used, but it’s safe to assume she made a mean chocolate babka.
A showdown is expected next week Wednesday as dissidents in Kiryas Joel prepare for the first wedding at which Rabbi Zalmen Teitelbaum, the Satmar Rebbe from Williamsburg, will officiate. The wedding is expected to take place at a new wedding hall controlled by the Zaloinim, despite threats by leaders of the majority faction to record the marriage as illegitimate. Ah broch oifen kop of the offspring of this union, who will no doubt be labeled mamzeirimlich by some.
The Orthodox community, it seems, is cash-strapped these days, and can only afford to address really important issues. Fortunately, there’s the New York State Department of Children and Family Services, which can provide funds for luxuries, such as a new $500,000 program for identifying and treating sex abuse victims. According to Brooklyn Assemblyman Dov Hikind, the program is intended as a “major campaign to educate everyone from teachers to parents and students with regard to sexual abuse.” We’re sure the Satmar menahel in Williamsburg will be handing out brochures to parents and children as soon as they’re made available.
We recall Rabbi Baruch Lebovitz as the charismatic schmoozer at the eleven o’clock Shachris minyan in the Munkacz shul on Fourteenth Avenue. However, according to allegations brought forth in court this week, his extracurricular activities included blowing teenage boys while they provided him with chauffer services. Lebovitz’s “supporters” packed the courtroom, which means, of course, they know that he’s innocent. Which begs the question, can’t the DA too recognize an innocent rabbi when it sees one?
News Roundups appear twice weekly, on Tuesdays and Fridays. Send news tips to unpious.editor@gmail.com.
Disclaimer: Unpious.com is neither fair nor balanced. We are totally partial to snarkiness, cynicism, sarcasm, and schwarma from Famous Pita on Coney.
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How have I not heard of you before? Chassidish snark is always awesome.
Keep it up.
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They used to say that Baruch Lebovitz was constantly losing his cassettes under the passenger seats, and searched for them only when giving someone a ride. lol
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thanks for the heads-up on the kj wedding. there’s nothing as exciting as anticipating big traffic.
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I had no idea that THOSE were the specific abuse acts by Lebovitz. Thanks for the heads (pun intended) up, Blackman.
How unfortunate.
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The wedding where Zalmen Teitelbaum officiated, was LAST Wednesday.
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It is interesting that the Rabbunim still try to ban Cellphones and the Internet, when they know that it is unsuccessful.
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moses….
even better.
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