Comments on: Sholom Bayis

By: J.

J. — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 23:20:07 +0000

** pure and simple ** Not ** poor and simple **

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By: StartingOver

StartingOver — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 03:40:53 +0000

“Those sites” are Shalom Byais killers! You should sit down with you husband and show him this site – yourbrainonporn.com . You are a good woman.

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By: J.

J. — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 19:44:32 +0000

Revolting. I shuddered, reading this. Rape comes to mind immediately.

“He is a good man, a kind person. A good father, most of the time.” I hear this justification in that community all the time. Haven’t heard strange sex stories, that part they wouldn’t confess to me, but as long as he’s “a good man,” he can scream at his wife, he can belittle her. If he’s making a living, you can justify anything.

This is unmitigated misogyny. You don’t have to put up with this. It is abuse, poor and simple. Please run and get out.

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By: MW

MW — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 16:06:01 +0000

Strong women only make weak men afraid.

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By: chossid ex

chossid ex — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 20:56:24 +0000

im just shocked that you are still subjecting yourself to this. He is obviously watching porn, and you should say no.
Dont blame your religion. This is nothing to do with yiddeshkeit, porn inspired abuse is much worse in the secular world, but for gods sake woman, get a grip and tell him to stop.

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By: Todd

Todd — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 06:10:43 +0000

“… there are lots of nitty gritty laws & then chumras (stringencies) which are taught. it’s not as though kallah teachers are giving tips on how to have a hot & steamy sex life. i don’t think it’s in their job description”

If sex isn’t fun, if it isn’t hot, if it doesn’t make your toes curl, if it doesn’t break down the barriers and the face you show the world like Avraham broke the idols then it isn’t holy and doesn’t lead to true Shalom Bayis.

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By: elana

elana — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 18:54:31 +0000

i wasn’t idealizing the non-jewish world… merely suggesting another area in which orthodoxy needs work

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By: B from NJ

B from NJ — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:50:50 +0000

elana, while i never took a sex ed class in my BY HS, my guess would be that in a typical public junior high or HS, it’s all about safe sex, using condoms & the like. i highly doubt the teacher goes into stressing female sexual pleasure or what have you but then again i don’t know that first hand. my point is that even non-Orthodox couples generally don’t have a class on how to have a hot & steamy sex life. i don’t think it’s limited to the Orthodox or Chassidic world. Personally i was happy to learn things along the way with together my spouse w/o requiring any classes on the topic. i do remember learning along the way that if something is unpleasurable for one of the partners, it should not be done. i guess fruma’s teacher had a different point of view.

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By: Elana

Elana — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:35:16 +0000

“sara, being a kallah teacher does not require one to have a hot & sizzling sex life! it’s about teaching the girls all of the laws involved with taharas hamishpacha”

THAT is exactly the problem! The problem is that the orthodox version of sex education is check yourself, dip in the mikvah and please your husband.

That explains why so many women are suffering in silence.

and i bet a lot of men are suffering too.

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By: kafhakela

kafhakela — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 17:25:06 +0000

Jackie;
“Strong women are frightening for men”

Ya think?

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