Comments on: The Dressing Room

By: A. Nuran

A. Nuran — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:46:49 +0000

To the “women should dress beautifully all the time” posters…

If they want to. If it makes them happy. Too often it’s just a way of preying on their insecurities in order to make a buck. And the wonderful thing is, other women enforce it through vicious peer pressure which men can scarcely fathom.

The pressure to be “beautiful” can easily become pathological. For the most part it’s another commodification of women’s sexuality, a way to turn it into profits without actually delivering an orgasm. Slathering a layer of spackle and paint onto healthy skin all the time. Obsession with invisible signs that you aren’t seventeen. Foot surgery to accent the “toe cleavage”. New clothes every season whether you want them or not. Uncomfortable shoes that damage your spine and feet just so your arse will stick out properly and your legs will seem a little longer.

My wife entered Oil of Olay’s Beauty Secrets contest some time back. The fact that she did not win I can only ascribe to a Post Office malfunction. Her tip? Don’t smoke. Never wear makeup, and have at least one Chinese grandparent. So far it’s worked for her. People think she’s about fifteen years less than her actual age, and younger guys still look.

Oh yes, when we got married she wanted to get a set of women’s dress shoes. We went to a prestigious store. The salesman looked at her feet and saw she was wearing tennis shoes. He asked “Do you wear those all the time? I’m sorry. There’s nothing in this store I can sell you.” Her feet hadn’t been systematically deformed by forcing them into a hoof.

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By: Dovid

Dovid — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 11:22:16 +0000

This piece has not the slightest bit of verisimilitude to it and is as cliched as a mishpacha piece except that mishpacha prefers not to dwell on that part of the anatomy.

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By: Moshe K

Moshe K — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 03:50:58 +0000

This is so well written. Thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed it.

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By: Transitional Perspective

Transitional Perspective — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 19:50:41 +0000

Hoezen T,

The things you mentioned are things that we realize when we get older that it doesn’t make sense (sex is a different story). But telling a young girl that wearing sexy lingerie is a ‘neshigaas’ she might think that way even when she gets married especially when there probably are people who think so.

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By: Leeba Weisberg

Leeba Weisberg — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 18:11:45 +0000

In response to Just A Guy, I’m sorry you feel that way. Fifteen was an odd age for me. I was struggling with a lot of different things – not the least of which was my developing body and whether I should be proud or ashamed of it. At that age I read a lot about girls from other cultures, particularly Arab ones, and the kallah I saw struck a cord. My inner dialogue certainly took longer and more confused than I described in the piece. I guess condensing it made it look somewhat contrived. Thank you for the critique.

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By: Hoezen T

Hoezen T — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:23:10 +0000

And saying people have ‘meshigasen’ is even worse, because it gives her a wrong sense of the world-that It’s wrong to wear sexy lingerie-something that she might stay with when she gets older.

Using your line of thinking, I’m surprised most adults want to have sex, considering the warped views most of us had as kids when we first started hearing about the birds and bees.
I’m also surprised that you dont believe in the tooth fairy,that mami buys a baby in the hospital, Santa, and that if you bite your nails,a nail tree will grow in your belly.

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By: Transitional Perspective

Transitional Perspective — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 06:17:31 +0000

I think Tzippi is right on this one. You can explain to an 11 year old that somethings wear just for self-admiration, and eventhough she might not understand it, she is able to understand that other or older people look at it that way. It’s not like you’re buying the nice lingerie for her so you need to explain to her why she should wear it. And it also gives her a good perspective about the world for when she grows up.

On the other hand, if you tell her I don’t know, she might not believe you or accept it. It’s too much of a simple thing not to know the answer to. The girl knows that her mother is into clothing, like every woman is. And saying people have ‘meshigasen’ is even worse, because it gives her a wrong sense of the world-that It’s wrong to wear sexy lingerie-something that she might stay with when she gets older.

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By: Hoezen T

Hoezen T — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:32:16 +0000

I don’t believe in psychology as a discipline and definetley not as a science.

We are on the same page then.

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By: Pen Tivokeish

Pen Tivokeish — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:17:31 +0000

There were a few ads for them up above. Joke.

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By: Rupture & Continuity

Rupture & Continuity — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:14:33 +0000

Lemme rephrase. That’s a loaded phrase. I don’t believe in psychology as a discipline and definetley not as a science.

Me scientology?

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