Pans in Rage
[Poetry]
Where is the film
of the woman banging pans in rage
because her husband is late and the kids are fighting
or the man smiling because he caught the train
just in time
or the child fretting: he wants to play outside.
Instead, we get sex through a sheet
or the beautiful girl forced to marry
the acne-scarred stuttering clammy-fingered boy.
The films gloat
with high-mindedness:
the proud secret glee of a tall, well-hung man.
If not this, then
a script bubbling with broad-mindedness
depicting warmth and love
within our closed in close knit circle
the spiritual highs
our mystical melodies and prayers
and the ecstatic frenzy
of male legs, kicking up a wedding dance
our lives romanticized
but just another sham
and though our busts swell with arrogance
we know. it’s bullshit.
When will they make a film of hasidim
frying eggs. buying shoes.
Printable Version
I long ago gave up on it. The jews in holywood are now several generations apart from religion, unless some of our own come up with something we will not see it, Fiddler on the roof was the closest they ever came but that was then.
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Thank you. Last time I saw a decent portrayal of proper Sephardim was “Every time we say goodbye” – 1986.
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Bravo for Mendy.
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nice (again).
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I’m reminded of Jackie Mason, in his routine, “The World According to Me,” observing that sex seems to be included in every movie, with the justification given that it reflects real life, in that everyone has sex. But, he pointed out, everyone has soup, too, and they don’t put soup in every movie. (Then he added, “Mister! You look like you’ve had enough sex, but I bet you could use some soup.”)
It’s simply a reality that some things are more interesting to depict in movies than are other things. Sex is more interesting to watch than soup, and minority populations are generally far more interesting (for most) to be seen portrayed in their idealized or demonized differences from the dominant group, not in their prosaic similarities. So what we end up with in movies is not realism, so much as entertainment…or what the moviemakers think will be found entertaining by the masses of moviegoers.
(Still, I would think the make-up people could do better. Have you noticed how fake some of the beards look on “Chassidim” in certain movies?)
Notwithstanding the above, I sympathize with the feelings of frustration (and marginalization and perhaps dehumanization) Chassidim can feel at being consistently and unrealistically represented in films as being grossly different. If it’s any consolation, other groups are treated similarly. Asians are cast in positive roles of martial arts experts or mystic masters, or in negative roles associated with poverty, cruelty, weird cuisine, ant-colony-like society with little individual expression, etc. Blacks have for many decades been cast as sports heroes, or criminals, or victims of oppression, or dumb, or–just as insulting—the movie or show goes overboard trying too hard to portray them as brilliant and uber-competent. And it’s not like Muslims are depicted very often in day-to-day roles of shopping for petunias for their gardens, either. In short, the pans are banging in many neighborhoods.
That’s sociological commentary on the content. But I like the poem!
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Lovely beat poem. Could almost be performed live.
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What makes you think a movie about Chasidic women banging pans, waiting in the morning for the bus with the twisted turben, screaming loudly into her phone so to cancel out all the noise around her, etc. would be of anyone’s interest? Hollywood is in the entertainment business. If they do a movie about us expect them to show the entertaining part, which is the weird part of us. You must admit our behavior is quite odd. To list a few: we walk around covered from head to toe in smoldering heat, we got payes hanging off the side of our heads, our women don’t drive, cut their hair like a GI Jane (this part would HORRIFY any outsider), arranged marriage, on and on. Of course we can explain it all away very eloquently with Tzenius, the Torah, etc, but through the prism of the outside world, we’re freaks! (gi learn mith ah goy bartenirah…) And that’s the part everyone wants to see. If I wasn’t part of it myself, I’d be fascinated by it all, sort of like I am when it comes to polygamy by the Mormons. I don’t care to see how they take care of their 20 or so children, all I care about is how they share their husbands, because that’s the part that’s freakish (and fascinating) about them.
I will say this though, when they do depict us in the movies, most of the time they are off the mark. Even on things as basic as payes, can’t they figure out a way to get the payes straight instead of having it two inches outwards??? Maybe it’s on purpose to make us look even weirder than we really are? Who knows.
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AE — Ever seen the HBO series Big Love? I don’t know how accurate a depiction it is of fundamentalist Mormons, but there’s certainly a lot of fascination in the mundane details. Holywood should take a page out of that script and apply it to Chasidim.
Re the payess, that doesn’t bother me as much as the awful and unrealistic portrayals of how we think, speak, act. It’s all caricatures.
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HR,
I have not seen Big Love, but I’ll sure make a point of checking it out. I readily admit, I’m not well-versed in the movie arena in general and Chasidic-related flicks in particular, but I do see their fascination with everything that’s weird about us. If you want to argue that there’s a double-standard, I don’t have the credentials to disagree.
Just to add to the general conversation, I think our appearance is what really does us in. Take the Mormons, for example. The first thing you see when you look at a typical Mormon is someone that looks like anyone else. As you dig deeper, you start seeing what’s weird about them. With us, the first impression is what’s weird about us: our looks, which is not easy to get passed. First impressions are lasting impressions!
While we’re at it, can you give us a list of good movies with Chasidim in it – real or fake?
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AE, I don’t think the point of this poem was that Hollywood should depict the twisted turbans; in fact, it’s precisely the opposite. It asks why there’s no room for portrayal of chassidim as human beings, doing what humans do. Why does a movie which features any chussid have to feature him/her as doing a chussid thing? Can’t there simply be a chussid on line in a supermarket? A chussid on a train reading? Are we *only* monkeys behind a cage for visitors to gape at? Aren’t we people? To quote someone, “if they prick us, do we not bleed?”
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That’s right, Laura, they only use us for what they see us. They think we’re weird and therefore only use us for weird roles.
I don’t think it makes sense for them to use us as just people (or as they call it “extras”) since we’re not part of their daily lives/culture. I’m sure the movies that are about Chasidim have us do mundane things as well (Stranger Among Us come to mind). Although, I do get the authors frustration with how we’re depicted in the movies, but I understand why it’s done and don’t expect anything else.
Btw, another reason why we’re so awfully depicted in movies might be for the fact that none of us are willing to participate. We don’t act. Maybe if they had real Chasidim they would be more authentic and would have us do more mundane things as well. Maybe the vulene tzitis wouldn’t always be seen flying in every which direction, maybe the payes would actually be seen neatly done instead of looking like a homeless hairdo
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I agree with you, AE. Y’know, I was in a group discussion once where the topic was the depiction of black/white romantic relationships in movies. Although we all agreed movies have come a long way from *Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner*, I pointed out that until the blackness and whiteness is still an issue, we haven’t come far enough. In other words, as long as there isn’t a romantic interracial relationship in a film where the skin color isn’t even mentioned, we have more progressing to do. Well, recently I watched a film called *Paris*, and there was a tiny moment that warmed my heart. A black guy flirts with Julitte Binoche’s character, she’s tempted, ultimately rebuffs him, and nothing is made of the race issue at all. They are simply man and woman trying–as humans do–to find love in a lonely world.
It would be nice to see something similar in depictions of chassidim.
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Oops, typo. Juliette
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honest,
did u ever have sex through a sheet?!
try it, its way too hard
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Not only do movies misrepresent Chasidim, in movies EVERY orthodox Jew is Chasidish. So in hollywood, every religious Jew wears payis and has sex through a sheet.
When my husband and I were in a pub in Dublin a guy, seeing my husband’s kippah, asked if we really do have sex through a sheet. I couldn’t believe people actually thought that. We set him straight.
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Sarah, you do know that chassidim do not have sex through a sheet, right? Because your first two sentences seem to imply that.
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Yes. I was saying that not only is hollywood WRONG about Chasidim, it’s wrong about all orthodox jews. If hollywood is wrong about Chasidim, then groups all religious Jews together, it is wrong about everything. Which is why I had the sentence saying all religious jews wear payis (wrong because not all Jews wear payis) and have sex through a sheet (wrong on both counts, no Jews do that.) Sorry if that was unclear.
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Got you.
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Glad you asked and didn’t just assume I thought that.
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My question would be…is Hollywood right about any of us? I am a 65 year old single white female, believe me they haven’t got that one down yet either. We are all very different, therefore all very much the same. But your clothing does look hot in the summer.
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Bobbi, you’re right. Most 65-year-old women are depicted as fuddy duddies, but the live 65-year-old women I know are young and vibrant. One depiction I liked (of a 70-year-old woman)is the mother in the French film, “Summer Hours.”
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