God of the Shoelaces
His name is Volf. A Chasid in his mid-thirties with a long black beard and wide unkempt payess, a pair of dark eyes set deeply beneath heavy eyebrows, a large forehead with wrinkled lines pointing to the heavens. His shoelaces are always undone, as if his mother never taught him to loop, swoop, and pull. Or perhaps he just never caught on.
He is a quiet person, shy. You don’t see him socializing, schmoozing about politics in the coffee room, procrastinating in the mikva, and you won’t hear his name mentioned in public. He’s the kind of person you see and recognize, but in a moment so fleeting that it barely registers. You’ll see him at morning services wherever your local minyan-factory might be, whichever one you might choose on a given day, almost as if he knows you’ll be there. He goes from worshipper to worshipper, shyly extending his arm with a modest bundle of cash folded in his hand. Most shul-goers give him something, there’s a kind of natural respect for the guy. What he does with the money no one really knows. It is taken for granted that it is used for a good cause. This spiel goes on for years, and few give him a second thought.
Reb Shaul, mid-fifties with a protruding abdomen, his payess neatly rolled around his ears, short suit and rimless eyeglasses, has gained a different kind of respect. Reb Shaul is a baalabos, a nogid even. Each morning he parks his latest model Yukon near the shul entrance and takes the only upholstered chair in the shul, apparently deciding it his and which no one else dares to use. Years ago he owned a large factory of plastic supply products, but it has long closed down. These days he is in real estate, or so people say, although no one knows of any properties he owns. Still, he manages to keep his status as the well-to-do baalabos.
It was a usual Wednesday morning when Volf was making his rounds and passed Reb Shaul seated comfortably in his chair, his prayer shawl over his shoulders, the tefilin on his head slightly off-center. Reb Shaul paused as Volf approached, put his hand in his right pocket, then his left, then his pants pocket, but came up empty handed. Reb Shaul shook his head ever so slightly, as if to say, sorry, nothing today.
Volf was ready to move on, stepped a few paces in the direction of the next worshipper, when Reb Shaul called his name. Volf’s name was called so rarely that he wasn’t sure he heard it at first, looked back to Reb Shaul as an afterthought.
Reb Shaul was gesturing for him to lean close, and Volf took a few steps back towards him. “Volf,” he said in a quiet voice, “I’m in trouble.” He sighed deeply, and it appeared to Volf that Reb Shaul’s voice got caught in his throat. “You know, of course, that my daughter is to be married in a month.” Reb Shaul hesitated, and Volf gave him a reassuring nod. “I have nothing, Volf,” Reb Shaul said. “Not a dollar. I’ve been living the past few years on dreidlech, and borrowing from one person to pay off another. Somehow I managed. But lately there’s been nothing.” Reb Shaul took a handkerchief from his breast pocket and dabbed the top of his neatly trimmed mustache. “I’m destitute,” he said.
“How much?” Volf asked.
“Without 45 thousand there will be no wedding,” Shaul said. “The other side has nothing, I’m expected to pay for most of it. But I just can’t tell them.”
Volf nodded and said nothing, moved on to continue his rounds among the worshippers, now late for the service starting in the next room over. If he misses them before they begin Kriyas Shema, he’ll have to wait until after Shmoneh Esreh. He quickened his pace.
A week later, Reb Shaul rolled up his tefilin, folded his talis, and put his gold watch back on his left wrist. He walked out to his Yukon with his talis bag under his arm, casually greeting passerby, but without much cheer. Volf stood near the car, leaning on its left taillight, holding a bulky paper bag. “Forty five,” Volf said and handed the bag to Reb Shaul. Volf hurried away without looking back, rushing now to catch the minyan at the shtiebel on the corner, his shoelaces dragging behind him.
Reb Shaul stood motionless for a moment, then looked down at the bag in his hand. A keen observer might have seen his shoulders relax ever so slighly, a tear rolling down his cheek as he unlocked the car door with the remote. He sat for a few moments quietly in his front seat, his eyes closed, only he himself aware of what seemed a miraculous morning and the lightness he now felt in his chest.
*****
Where is God and what is He made of? We know nothing, we don’t bother speaking much of it. But we say much about what he wants: put your right shoe on before the left, but tie the left one first; clip your nails on alternating fingers; wear your clothes buttoned right side over left; say your prayers, eat the right foods, and don’t pick the bones out of your white fish on the Sabbath.
The Talmud tells a tale of the sages Abaya and Rava, both still in their youth, students of the great sage Raba. “Where is God?” Raba asked. Abaya pointed to the ceiling of the study hall, Rava went out to the street and pointed to the sky. “You will both grow up to be great leaders in Israel,” Raba proclaimed.
God is a human creation, and humans are free to choose between a good and just God, an evil God, or a God who cares about which shoelace we tie first.
Abaya and Rava both pointed to the void above. God will be what you make him to be. “You will be both great leaders,” Raba said. God is in your hands, and you carry that great responsibility for choosing the God that will serve mankind, not the other way around.
The God who cares about shoelaces may not care much for Volf. But perhaps if Abaya and Rava were asked today to point towards God, they might just have pointed in Volf’s direction, his shoelaces undone, shirt buttons in the wrong holes, beard unkempt, rushing silently from prayer service to prayer service with a folded pile of bills in hand.
(Rev. by HR)
Printable Version
What a kiddush hashem, Velvel. Your writing has chasidisheh tam.
Every chusid knows there’s money to be had in open shoelaces. As they always say in kavah shtible: trip, sue, marry off.
Oif simchas!
God’s with us.
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Ya’ashar koach Velvel! Haven’t read such a beautiful piece in quite a while. Also, I like your theology a lot; our gods’ are closely related, so thank you ‘mechuten’:)
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Velvel:
“what he wants: put your right shoe on before the left, but tie the left one first; clip your nails on alternating fingers; wear your clothes buttoned right side over left; say your prayers, eat the right foods, and don’t pick the bones out of your white fish on the Sabbath.”
This is a recurring theme among the agnostics and wannabes.
Why does Hashem give a flying toss over the way I do this that or the other? Does He really care about such minutia? Is He really this petty (chas ve’shalom)?
I believe that from a position of remoteness from Hashem, this question will always be there, prominent in mind and up there at the forefront of any arguments. No answer will ever be good enough.
However, once one becomes closer to Hashem, once one lets Him into one’s life, this question more or less answers itself.
I see it mirrored in the way people view their parents. As kids, we generally tend to disagree and argue with much of what they want of us. As we grow older however, many of us tend to become more respectful towards them, as our own responsibilties fertilise our acceptance of our parent’s proper place as our more experienced elders. Others however, build on their tender resentments, and go on to dislike their parents ever more as they too become ever more cranky.
Forgive me for being slightly confused as to the exact point of your post, but your point about Him being what we want Him to be, kinda agrees with the above.
There are couple of Volf’s in my neck of the woods. They are truly amazing people. They’re not in it for the honour. They only want to help. I envy them.
HR:
Footnote noted!
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I have seen this movie time and time again. It is always wonderful to watch.
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Nice heartwarming story and I hate to be a naysayer, But.
This brings up a serious problem in the community, which I happen to see playing out with a close relative of mine. Volf may be kind and wellmeaning, and he’s helping out Reb Shaul, but he’s not doing the community any favors. 45K to make a wedding? Even 20K. Somehow, this insanity has got to stop. It’s not the dollar amount. It’s the mindset where a young couple is not expected to be self-sufficient. The community is heading to catastrophe unless expectations change. Last week in shul, I heard a poor man get up and make a heartfelt appeal, that he used to be able to support his family but he’s now blind and in addition to making a Chassuneh soon, he still has to send money to his kids in “Eretz Yisrooel”. The sheer INSANITY of it. A blind man forced to beg for his married kids.
I have a close relative now, who’s broke and can’t afford to marry off even the FIRST of his 7 kids. And they can’t forego any of the expenses because they have to do this and how can they not do this, yadda yadda yadda.
Of course, it’s not realistic, but I’d love to tell Reb Shaul to sell the damn Yukon, have his kids elope and and buy them some condoms so they don’t perpetuate this mess.
The REAL God is the one who’d have the guts to change the system, not the Volf who’s helping perpetuate it.
(Should I duck?)
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Baal Habos:
“The REAL God is the one who’d have the guts to change the system, not the Volf who’s helping perpetuate it.”
The Volf who recognises that it’s difficult enough to change oneself, never mind the rest of society, and despite this, decides to help people in need, in spite of the rights or wrongs or otherwise of the societal foibles which gave rise to this individuals need – He really is a truly special person.
He fixes what he can instead of grumbling about what he cannot. A real achiever.
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I know, let’s do both. I’m going to stop assuming that stuff I don’t understand (like the shoelace halacha) is dumb simply cos I don’t understand it. Why, you ask? Cos I don’t want to like what woolf did just cos it fits my understanding either.
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Frummer, I’m not knocking Volf. But I think you’re wrong about the grumbling. There are people, unlike me, who do have the clout to change things in a big way but don’t. And, while admittedly many of us can’t make ends meet, many of us personally CAN make a difference, by being less ostenatious than we can afford to be. I personally live under my means, don’t make simchas’s anywhere near as opulent that I can afford and drive an aging car despite being able to to do much better.
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BH:
It’s somewhat difficult not to indulge when one can afford to. “I can afford it. Why shouldn’t I!”
You say you don’t, and I’m impressed by that. If only there were more people like you, the “pressure” of being like the Jones’ would certainly be reduced.
Various chasidus have made “takonnos” to try and reduce costs, perhaps these need to be “enforced more”. Woudn’t people then complain about meddlesome Rabbis?
As in every close society, we are always going to have the “Jones’” factor. Is there anything which can be done which hasn’t already?
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Frummer, there’s a simple way to greatly alleviate the situation. Stop with the Kolel. You’re marrried? You go out and work. Of course, a change like that has to come as some sort of takkana. There can be some exceptions, such as only that that pass a rigorous bechina or some other criteria. But the default has to be that there’s an expectation and demand of self-sufficency.
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Again, just to clarify the relevance to the post. I’m not knocking the Volf’s or even expecting that rich people live below their means.
It’s just that the God-olim need to step up the plate be the Gods that the pious hold them out to be.
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“But the default has to be that there’s an expectation and demand of self-sufficency.”
That I agree with. I hate the term “scroungers”.
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If I was a shnorer like Wolf, I would first have taken off 50% (or is it 70%?) of the 45,000 for myself. The rest I would have given for some mosed or yeshiva to help brainwash some more kids with non-sense, so they can grow up to be shnorers just like me.
Here are the most important tzdukes in order of priority:
Highest priority: Yeshivas, Mosdos and other holy organizations.
Medium priority: Helping the formerly rich making lavish weddings so no one gets their “secret”.
Low level priority: Providing food for poor people or helping out Haiti earthquake survivors.
Ops… cross out that last one. Helping Haiti survivors might not be a mitzvah at all.
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Shpitzle shtrimpind:
How dare you reveal the kavah shtible secret of the open shoelaces, I’m sure the secret service’s lurking around here
(And Shaul didn’t pay income tax , Volf may be violating 86 federal counts of money laundering, for you anti-Semites out there).
Thanks for commeting
God’s with us.
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Frummer:
I know, I know we can’t understand God. The point I tried to make in the article is that what God actually want is a human Choice. I would very much assume you’re not in favor of the zealots in Jerusalem throwing acid on women even though they know God want them to do it, and you can’t understand Him.
WhatI’m trying to say here is we should choose a good God.
Thanks for your sincere comment.
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BHB:
I agree wholeheartedly with your crusade to change the disastrous ‘system’. I very much doubt you’ll get wedding standards droping by campaigning on the walls of Unpious but to all kollel Yungerliet shttuping time commenting here on Unpious, we say go to work(Giets arbaten).
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I didn’t really want to comment. Couldn’t resist.
Does anybody have a suggestion as how to change the system? I just married of a child and kept it down pretty well. had I gone completely cheap with tekonos I woulda saved $10,000 not much more.
The only other choiceis not to setup the kids with an apartment and basic furniture. Who on this site would go to Ikea to buy the main pieces of furniture?
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Funny you should say that, Shloimy.
I actually got married with a dining set from Ikea – and I even got to put it together myself. Loved doing it then, and am still lovin it over 12 years later.
I guess what I’m trying to say is – it’s doable.
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Dinette or dining room? I checked out their bedroom sets and they seemed to be low quality.
Funny part is that I furnished my home office with Ikea and also love it. I just can’t see a nice dining room set for a young couple from Ikea.
Thanks anyway and ill look into it.
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I didn’t do a ‘dining room’ per se. I just did one table and chairs set, and saved so much space in the process, I was able to create a comfortable living room too. With every inch in a Williamsburg apartment being of so much value – why stuff it with extras?
My dining set is upholstered wooden chairs and a wood and glass table. Modern and pretty, but certainly not the typical ‘dining room furniture’ look.
Which actually just pleases me more.
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I must strongly protest this sentiment of downsizing on wedding expenses. First of all, we should not change any system that we have now. Changing anything might bring more changes and God knows where this might lead.
Secondly, I don’t see any problem that needs to be solved. It’s simple; people who don’t have “bituchon” will have trouble when they have to make a wedding. People who have bituchon should be able to marry off even 12-13 children without any trouble at all. I would suggest we make a “bituchon campaign”. That should solve all the problems.
Thirdly, even if we downsize, we will not gain anything, since all the money spend on a wedding is usually going to the local stores and business in our own community. If we downsize, lots of haimishe people will not have parnuse, and we should not allow such a thing to happen.
What we need is to move in more money from the outside in to our mini economy. Like more food stamps, section 8, medicade, lifeline and other such government programs. You guys wouldn’t believe it but some people in this community like the one’s working in B&H don’t have government programs, which is truly a waste, since they are not helping to bring in more money from the “outside to the inside”.
Our rabbis should get together for a meeting to figure out how to increase the number of government programs and how to “kasher” the programs for the B&H people. I would also suggest a new “How not to get caught campaign” so we don’t get caught like the spinker-rabbi or Rubashkin by the anti-semites.
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Gigi
Gotta tell you!! about time somebody enjoys the non traditional decor. Except for my original furniture I donot buy local style. I personally like Mod. I also enjoy changing Decor every couple of years.
As of now I can afford it.
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JL, that is hilarious!!
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JR:
Self hate is not good my friend I’d think. One shouldn’t hate himself even if he’s a serious cripple. We are all brothers and sisters after all. Let’s try changing things with love and not hate. You can catch more bees with honey than viniger, the saying goes.
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Comment addressed to JL that is.
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VC:
Self hate?? It reminds me of the Self-hating Jews like the chilonim, reform and conservative.
Speaking of self-hate, did you know that the founders of the USA were self-hating Britons?
I don’t like people who cripple themselves on purpose, and are even proud to show of their self-made cripplenes.
If you are trying to catch bees, you should definitely use honey. However, if the bees are coming after you to sting you, then honey wouldn’t be very helpful. You should run or use some vinegar to make them get away.
I loved your article. It was beautiful.
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I got my 5k sfurim shranks from staples for 300.00….
and am as proud as can be
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JL:
I guess we should first define self hate and what the terminology stands for. What I’m really saying is we as Chasidim will not get anywhere by staying fixed on what a crippled community we are part of and being resentful and angry, we will only harm ourselves and the people around us. Let us rather look at the positives and in any way possible try to change things in a positive way. No man made cripples here, they follow what father and mother told them.
I’d agree with you if the bees are already after you not honey neither vinegar will be effective. We need to be careful not to enter ther radder otherwise we are doomed.
Thanks for the kind word and much hatzlacah.
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