One Giant Leap
[Point-Counterpoint]
This essay is Part 1 of a two-part point-counterpoint series. Click here to read Part 2: Square One.
Chasidishkeit is not a way of life; it’s a way of death. It manages to take everything exciting in life – food, sex, adventure, travel – and maul it, mangle it, distort it to a point where there’s little left of their original allure. It has a particularly vicious stranglehold on sex.
In high schools across America a primordial scene is played out every day, with teenage boys and girls whooping and hollering at each other in a sexual frenzy in the hallways, cafeterias, and school yards. When school lets out, boys and girls pair off to spend the afternoon hours in their homes before their parents arrive from work. After a bit of TV and video games the clothes come off and the tongues start working their way down each other’s gullets.
For the next few hours they lay entwined, their sweaty bodies rocking back and forth in a sexual delirium. Their eyes are rolled back in the heads, only the whites showing, their brains detached from the skulls, floating somewhere off in space. When the sheigetz comes he spurts for a full ten minutes, his juices overflowing onto the sheets, down the sides of the bed and out from under the door.
Meanwhile the Chasidic yeshiva bochur, in his filthy chalatel, goes from the gemara to the lunchroom, to the dormitory, and back to the gemara. To him the world of females doesn’t exist. For all he knows his penis is there so he can recite asher yetzar and the purpose of his balls is so that he knows what a meroyach oshech is. All the while he’s shaking over the gemarah, twisting his thumb in a feverish argument, while his prostate is doing its thing, building up a cache of semen.
To relieve the sexual pressure the bochur has the mikvah. In there he can steal glances at his friend’s engorged member, the size and color of a fireman’s hose. Once in a while he gets real lucky and manages in a crowded shower to brush the back of his hand against a particularly nubile bochur’s private parts. Later that night, unable to hold it back any longer, he lets go, soiling the blanket. Afterwards he feels guilty, but for the wrong reason of zereh levatoleh. Incredibly it fails to enter his mind that he just committed the very gay act of jerking off to thoughts of his friend’s hairy ass balls.
The gemarah, the same thing that binds us for generations, is also the source of all evil in our society. It is what causes all the misery in our yeshivas. It is filled with useless information, archaic laws, and theories long proven wrong. The yeshivas use the analytical parts of it to pit brains against each other, sort of like a religious chess game.
Those who are not cut out for the Talmud are pretty much screwed. There are no other options for them – no math, no science, no political studies, no sports. In every yeshiva one can see this group of misfits walking around like zombies, wasting the best years of their lives sleeping, smoking, and beating each other off.
Even those who are good at the gemarah are in for a nasty surprise. When it’s time to look for a job they realize that the world cares very little about their gemarah skills and gitte kup. Sadly many of these gifted students end up becoming melamdim or working behind the counter in one of the numerous grocery stores in the community.
Body odor is one of the biggest no-no’s in Western society. Even the lowliest African child will come to school bathed and dressed in clean clothes. In a typical Chasidic household, on the other hand, a parent will think it no big deal if a child hasn’t showered or brushed their teeth in a few days. Yet this same parent will not hesitate to deliver two fraskes to a child who forgot to make a brocho before eating. Anyone who’s been on the Williamsburg-Boro Park bus on a hot summer day is familiar with this phenomenon. When a bunch of men get up to get off the bus, a collective stink rises from their behinds to settle in the lower stratosphere of the bus.
Why then do we stubbornly adhere to this kind of lifestyle? The answer is because of our Jew-gene. All of us – children of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob – are afflicted with this Jew-gene, which from the moment we’re born eats away at our bodies and souls, making us blind to ourselves. This is the same Jew-gene that gives us our long noses, bad teeth, and the desire to make money.
To break away from this Jew-gene, it’s not enough to take a few steps – one must make a giant leap. For a rocket to escape the pull of gravity it must put forth a tremendous force. It’s the same with the Jew-gene. To get away from it calls for a total lifestyle transformation. One must change the way one dresses, the food one eats and, most importantly, one must not continue to live in an Orthodox community.
If one has children in a yeshiva they must be yanked out and placed in a public school. Every day that one continues taking their child to cheder they might as well throw them in the back of a garbage truck when it comes around on recycling day. If it’s not possible to remove the child from yeshiva one must start a new family with a gentile woman. In this union one must have at least the same amount of children they had in their previous marriage so as to offset the damage done in life number one.
*****
And the day will come when the Lord will wipe away every tear from our eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
Good evening boys and girls. And God bless.
Disclaimer: The views presented in this article are of the writer alone and do not represent the views of Unpious.com and its editors.
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This article is in bad taste, went toooooo far.
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I like the anger, the rage of this piece. When one is murdered day by day–Hasidic education IS death for those don’t fit in–it is okay to lash out and fight for life. Thanks.
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What an anti-Semite! Someone must be bitter that his chavrusa didn’t want to blow him…
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Sorry, sir, you went too far here. I can understand that you don’t see any worth in chassidishkeit, and some of the points you raised were valid, like the hygiene, but the way you put this was totally wrong. I’m not out to demean you, so I won’t rip your piece apart, but please. Know where to stop.
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The author of this piece most likely is a teenager. I’ve never met a mature adult with this kind of view of the world.
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wow! what a great article! You are so angry- it’s obvious. By writing, you are dealing with your feelings in your own way- and that’s ok. Don’t listen to the haters and keep expressing yourself. A brilliant philosopher once said: opinions are like assholes- everybody’s got one
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What about this piece don’t you guys get? It’s not meant to be a rational analaysis of chasidishe life. This is someone venting his justifiable frustration at a system which has taken something away from him which he can never get back. Yes, it is full of hyperbole and wild exxagerations, but haven’t thoughts like these tortured us all at some point or another? These are feelings, feelings which can totally take over a person’s mind and body, not giving him any respite, feelings which can eat you up inside, not letting you move on in life. The author, and all of us, need to learn to deal with these feelings, if we want to salvage what we can from what’s left of our lives, but in my opinion, expressing such views isn’t a symptom of an angry maniac.
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I just saw that I was “mechaven” to sura gitel. boruch shekivanti.
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Sura Gitel –
Clint Eastwood might have not finished the quote, but the punchline is actually ‘and everyone thinks that everyone else’s stinks.’
He’s certainly entitled to his opinion, but then I’m just as entitled to say ‘yuck!’. Am I not? Besides which, I don’t see this article as much of an opinion per se. It seems more like a long rant of wild exaggerations.
He starts out with the most presposterous scenario, and just keeps going. Whatever attempts at reality he might have been attempting to infuse this article with – I seem to have missed it.
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You don’t like the Chassdish lifestyle, you feel that something has been taken from you, and you’re using gross exaggerations to make a point. Fine. I get that.
Where you cross the line is repeating anti-Semitic stereotypes and asserting that there is a “Jew-gene,” as if the undesirable aspects of Chassidish society are caused by the Jewishness of its members.
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3 points
1. You’ve been watching American Pie way too much
2. The only thing that will help you break away from your so-called Jew-gene is therapy.
3. There is a way to have a happy life without being binded for life to chasidish culture, you just need to set your mindset straight.
From the way you write I assume that you are very young, and just started out exploring the world, and you still feel deprived from your youth, although rightfully so.
If you want you can change everything instantly, it’s up to you to make your life a truly happy one, you will have to get rid of the anger, that’s step one! Without that step it’s impossible to change.
And that in my opinion is why most OTD’s are still depressed after starting a new life.
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Whether it’s all true or not, fair or not, just doesn’t make a difference. It’s a powerful piece, expressing the way you see it. When believers express their religous awe decribing their transcendent experiences of singing Shalom Aleichem, I don’t hear people saying “You’re going too far”! It’s simply the way they feel. I went through a stage where I felt this aweful rage towards my Baalebatish/Litvish community, albeit about issues, so I understand how you feel, brother.
(I love that “mroach ashech piece”, reminds me of that Gemara with Palpilin.)
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Not everyone in the secular world had sex, especially in High School. Some do and others don’t even if they want to. Jewish boys are often not considered attractive, and have to compete with all sorts of ame haaretsoth sheigitzes, even within one’s own Jewish families. The Jewish man always is told by the girl, “I don’t like you ‘that’ way. I like you as a friend” only.
If the Jewish man wants to be sexy, he needs to go to Europe where he has the same sort of sexual cache as the Black man has here in the USA. In Europe the Jew is another race and considered the ultimate sexual predator and the sexual “other” which the Black man is here in the USA.
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Arth, I have no clue where you are coming from, I can give you a whole list of jews scoring hot shiksas, they like the way of jewish family closeness and tradition, not to mention the settling with one wife part.
It’s only the drop out wannebe bangers types that they demise.
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Is this the first article on here to sport such a prominent disclaimer? What is the significance of that?
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I’m guessing the editors were in agreement with most readers about the crap written in this article.
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ARTH should I list all the jewish celebrities who were and are the biggest lotharios? I have no clue where you came up with this whole europe vs. America theisis. Seems freshly hellucinated.
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Arth, now that I finaly have the time , let me elaborate.
There is nothing wrong with the writer feeling that way. Starting out on this out-of-the-box journy, he doesn’t yet know (of course his mother didn’t tell him) the difference between holywood and reality, most secular teenagers go through the same feelings until the rude awakening, (usually trying one of his new learnd “lines”), only they get it way faster still in high-school. With that said, doesn’t mean you can justify the chasidic deprivation of our youths, if you take a look at the reform community, they work very hard to get through graduate school and a great career, meanwhile not going around with a shotgun in their pants, you can go on dates and also see if she will be good in bad, not necceserily going around banging chicks, but if you find your suitable partner, not having to abstain yourself. You can enjoy life to the fullest extent, whether you find a jewish solemate or other is not the point neither is it a must to bang davke a shiksa, you can find a nice jewish girl who will be up to all of your promiscueous behavior without the urge to bang shiksas every night or so. The reform union has more than 1.8 million members in the usa so your chances are much better in that court.
I understand that the writer had an urge to exeggerate a bit, so he came off as just finished watching a national lampoon movie, but there is “some” truth in his context.
That’s it for now my thumbs are starting to hurt.
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In re my earlier comment. I meant ” I went through a stage where I felt this aweful rage towards my Baalebatish/Litvish community, albeit about different issues, so I understand how you feel, brother
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“Don’t listen to the haters”—there’s rich irony in someone telling that to the author of this piece: in other words, anyone who fails to appreciate the ‘rage’ & ‘honesty’ & ‘pain’ of this overwrought, hate-filled essay is a “hater”. What, then is the author (I use the term generously)? There’s not even a slight attempt at objectivity, moderation & displine here, not in his writing & not in his thinking. Just hate & wrath, expressed in the measured words of a child throwing a tantrum.
This guy’s opinions—some of which might actually contain a tiny kernel of truth (it’s hard to make it out in all the hateful, bigoted crap)—could’ve been expressed just as forcefully and effectively using strong rhetoric, wit, even scathing sarcasm-all of which have appeared here before. But this writer, like so many directors of trashy movies—mistakes unsubtlety for passion and heavyhanded baiting for clever debate. Likewise, what no doubt smelled to the author & his knee-jerk fans like pungent, spicy satire is merely the stink of a steaming pile of shitty writing.
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I guess HR traded Mr. Posner, for this.
With the added disclaimer at the end, I am still bewildered how one who claims this site to be a literary journal, would allow this “article.” Especially with HR going on and on and on about how he needs to edit so many of the articles submitted, and how he wants to keep a certain level of intelligent dialogue going at this site.
Good job doing just that, sir.
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Guy from BP, you voiced my sentiments. My feeling is that as badly as the editor of this blog wants this to be an upscale venue, his “downscale” readers need such pieces. Look at the more literary writings on this site. None generated many comments or much interest at all. But bring on the sleaze, and you get your usual H’s, I’s, and S’s intelligent commenting.
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Shay, the fact that you chose to grace this online journal with your uncanny pearls of wisdom, specifically on the post, makes this post the most celebrated writting here.
Wonder where you were hanging out when the more “literary” and “upscale” pieces debuted.
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I find myself agreeing.
Oh, and I am a mature adult with this view of the world. I might not have put it so virulently, perhaps, but essentially I see only truth in this piece (except for the part about the Jew gene – my own view is that people get brainwashed very early and most of them tend to remain brainwashed).
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I think no one would deny the Yeshivah system is broke and is in need of serious reform however the fact our teenage boys and girls do not engage in sexual activity is something noble and worth praise, at least my in my opinion. Doesn’t everyone agree 14 year olds are not psychically and emotionally ready to engage in all out sexual activities?
Vei: According to your own blue print I’m sure you would be delighted your 15 years old daughter bringing you home a 22 years old pierced Indian jerk and in the end you will have to pay for her medical HIV costs.
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Velved Chusid, Why “Indian” jerk? Are you racist?
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It was just a ‘Moshol’ my Friend. Some people only know of sex (the greatest pleasure on earth according to some brainy chachamim here) and racism.
I wonder why you didn’t find the above genius article racist. His description of the smelly Jew with filthy cloth I found a matching sentence in ‘mein kamf’ only Hitler never saw a religious Jew but German Bankers and doctors with long noses and Jew genes.
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It is clear that the author of “One Giant Leap” does not believe in a “Jew Gene” in the Nazi way for no “lifestyle transformation,” even a “Giant Leap,” could ever allow a Jew to escape the Nazi idea of a Jew Gene.
Everything in “One Giant Leap” is somewhat excessive and excess, in writing, is a matter of STYLE-personally, I happen to like excess in style, but most of all, I like an impulse that feels authentic, true to experience and “One Giant Leap” felt quite authentic.
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He doesn’t believe in a Jew gene? At one point he thinks the best thing to do is to marry a “shiksa” and start over with non-Jewish children. If that is not advice in how to start getting rid of the “Jew-gene” then I don’t know what is.
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forbidden said “Everything in “One Giant Leap” is somewhat excessive and excess, in writing, is a matter of STYLE-personally…”
yes, but that doesn’t make it proper—or good writing.
fbdn: “I happen to like excess in style, but most of all, I like an impulse that feels authentic, true to experience and “One Giant Leap” felt quite authentic.”
And some people like to sleep with goats—authentically!—But that doesn’t make it normal behavior. I agree that the essay may have been overdone consciously, as a stylistic flourish, but so what? Good intentions do not [necessarily] make good art; this was not “SOMEWHAT excessive”—it was an offensive, crude rant, the likes of which all you relativistic types would never tolerate if it were, say, an article in the Jewish Press knocking aspects of black culture. Neither would I—but I don’t have a double-standard regarding my own people.
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JRS, abnormal as sleeping with goats is, most of the 5 to 6 billion people on this planet might not think too highly of Chassidic or OJ life either.
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JRS, I admit that I would be fascinated by a writer who could share why “some people like to sleep with goats.” I mean that one mission of literature is to deal with what scandalizes us. If a person/character liked to sleep with goats and could express his/her feelings—how it compared to sleeping with a woman or a man—, I would find such a document of great interest, because I am interested in genuine feelings. I am not saying that I deem all feelings equal and good, I am saying that they all interest me. And if the writing is coherent, and has some verve, I might even enjoy it.
That said, were I asked to give editorial advice to the writer of “One Giant Leap,” I would reply saying I do think the piece could become better with some editing. But the writer did not ask me for editorial advice and I did not think it was my job, as a commentator, to offer it.
Given some very negative responses to this piece, I will now volunteer that the writer carefully examine the consequences of the provocative expression Jew-gene. I am not saying that a writer should not be provocative—on the opposite, I am surprised and grateful when writing provokes me out of my shell, but I will volunteer that, in my opinion, the use of “Jew-gene” was not treated with sufficient mastery. I would try to think about how to keep the strengths of the piece, the rage, the anger, while showing greater astuteness in word choice. And I maintain that this is a powerful piece, a great read—with some unfelicitous word choice.
Certainly, one of the things I most admire in “A Giant Leap” is that it is fearless about self-criticism—I mean criticism about something Jewish. I find that Jews of all sorts have a difficult time with self-criticism. I’m not referring to some automated, ritual recitation of a vidui (confession). I know, I know…some have already intoned the standard Jewish response: ‘Jews are the worst anti-Semites,’ but it simply isn’t that simple; it never, never was that simple. Alas, most Jews, and religious Jews in particular, are quite ignorant of Jewish history (I don’t mean what happened several millennia back, I mean Jewish history since, say…Shabtai Zvi).
For me, this piece doesn’t feel driven by self-hatred but by self-critique. It almost reminds me of the wild critiques of the Prophets, their rants, when they wanted to bring about change.
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You sound like an anti-semite!! I feel so bad for Satmar and the other chasidim, life is not that bad!! judaism is very nice outside of your willy Borough-park ghetto.
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This article just seems a bit naive. By no means do all Westerners have sex as teenagers, nor are American public schools necessarily a great place to expand intellectually (though some are). This article is also incredibly racist, and I’m surprised no one else has yet pointed this out. “Even the lowliest African child?” What is that supposed to mean? Africans are the lowest people on the planet?
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The awful irony is that as much as the author resents chasidism he still has many of those same attitudes. That sex is as dirty as it is pleasurable. That being Jewish is something that permeates one’s entire being rather than just being one the hundreds of religions. That chasidism is the only kind of real Judaism – that there is no legitimate moderate Judaism one could practice. I can understand the urge to run to a place where there are no Jews, marry a non Jew and start a new life. But to change one’s life one must start with themselves.
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It’s very unfortunate you feel this way, and I am sure you got plenty of good reasons to. In fact, I can relate to your experience and frustration; been through it myself. However, I disagree with your conclusion. There are plenty of alternatives to shtetl life in New Square (or KJ, for that matter). Kids in progressive Orthodox schools are happy, have a balanced study of secular and Judaic, and tend to be very successful as adults (doctors, attorneys, engineers, enterpreneurs, etc). There is an upside to chasidic communities which is the communal warmth and chesed extended.
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The author brings up a number of valid points; yet his style reminds me of Julius Streicher’s.
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nate: I agree, this went too far. For most of us this is about having real questions about being frum, not self hatred (as zmeer seems to).
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“Even the lowliest African child will come to school bathed and dressed in clean clothes.”
I find this racism quite offensive actually. I’m not sure where this attitude comes from, but they destroy any sympathy I may have had with the article
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Why would the Lord bless us if we put our children in public schools and marry shiksas?
That being said i’ve seen enough B.O. and jerking off from all the hassidim and yeshiva boys to make me want to throw up at every kiddush…
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“In high schools across America a primordial scene is played out every day, with teenage boys and girls whooping and hollering at each other in a sexual frenzy in the hallways, cafeterias, and school yards. When school lets out, boys and girls pair off to spend the afternoon hours in their homes before their parents arrive from work. After a bit of TV and video games the clothes come off and the tongues start working their way down each other’s gullets.”
Um, not exactly, my friend. I was raised Chassidic too. I left when I was sixteen. Well, didn’t leave home, but decided that year, in a watershed year, that I would reject this lifestyle.
Fast forward to now. I am married, I have one child. She graduated from one of the most demanding high schools in the country last June. No, this is not the way she spent her afternoons, lost in homework overload.
I hear you on much of your essay. However, it’s easy to swing from one extreme to the other. I am just becoming aware of the “Off the Derech” phenomenon. I wish some of the kids could see how the normal other half lives.
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“In high schools across America a primordial scene is played out every day, with teenage boys and girls whooping and hollering at each other in a sexual frenzy in the hallways, cafeterias, and school yards. When school lets out, boys and girls pair off to spend the afternoon hours in their homes before their parents arrive from work. After a bit of TV and video games the clothes come off and the tongues start working their way down each other’s gullets.”
You are quite ignorant of the realities of a secular education and upbringing.
I was brought up within the secular community. My friends and I did not engage in sex – or anything even close to sex – until we were engaged. Kids who acted as you describe were exceedingly rare and considered the lowest of lowlife.
Also, you need to understand that a secular teenage life is not all roses. In fact, I can’t think of any roses in my secular upbringing. High school is a really rough time for secular kids and, frankly, in many ways the Charedi kids have it a lot easier.
By the way, as secular and goyishe as I am, I find your work offensive.
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I understand your anger, but a good general rule is don’t write authoritatively about things you don’t know. Many people do know, and you come of sounding not only ignorant but arrogant. That turns people off.
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Arth said (May 25 2010 7:12pm)
“..sexual cache as the Black man has here in the USA..”
This is incredibly blunt and non-politically correct to say… BUT Maybe the younger generations, but most of us older women think black men are gross. I mean we have a natural repulsion towards feces. We are supposed to… I’m sure as hell not getting close to a guy that color.
Finally, I reiterate what many said, not all public schools are like that. That sounds like how inner city schools are.
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