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  • February 8, 2012

The Mark of Cain

May 24, 2010
By Ruchy Fiedler

[Poetry]

I.

his hands were speckled in cheerful red polka dots
and Cain thought (just as he reached the end
of his psychonautical journey)
that he’d become a clown, a happy change
from his goddamn law career, the stiff tweeds
and all those fucking neckties
but then the thing in his brain clicked on
and he saw the knife in Abel’s chest
and the red shirt and red tie and red pond
in which Abel was chilling
and the thing in his brain clicked again
and he saw that it was bad

II.

the shakes overtook him then
he rattled like a man in delirium tremens
wailed like a demon lost in the ether
God oh God oh oh oh my God
(surrendering to a higher power,
his muddled state confusing DT with AA)
he pummeled his breasts and struck his ribs
till God, who’d been getting a massage
from a ministering angel, could not relax
what with all the clatter coming from below
and God said, I hear your remorse, Cain
and Cain knew that it was good

III.

then Cain cried, what will be what will be
it’s all fine and well to say
you hear my remorse, almighty God, but they
will come for me and cuff my wrists
and incarcerate my sorry ass
and Susan and Tim will make a film
(inspired by true events)
of me as a dead man walking to his grave
and God, anxious to get back to his massage
(this angel was the best in the heavenly spa)
said, I will give you a sign, an amulet, protection
and it will be good

IV.

so Cain glued the metallic band to his brow
and glittered with shame, his protection
a punishment symbol of his disgrace
he slithered through side streets and the crooked
roads near Little West 12th Street
in the dark of night only
(not aware that the band glowed more brightly in the dark)
he ordered food from Fresh Direct
and hid behind his door when the food came
and discovered abstinence for the first time
since Wild Marla had lain down for him near the bleachers
and Cain felt that it was bad

V.

this too came to an end one day
as Cain watching a Sex In The City rerun
(what’s a guy to do, holed up like this?)
saw the four sexy gals gabbing in Magnolia Bakery
the steam of their hot chocolate mugs
misting romantically on the screen
and Cain felt a craving such as he’d never felt before
he said, fuck it, and marched right out at noon
his metallic brow in plain view
for all to see all the way to Bleecker Street
where he stuffed his guts with cupcakes and hot chocolate
and it was good and it was bad

VI.

now the demon of loneliness
had seen the light and refused
to go back to his hole. Cain cancelled Fresh Direct
and went to Trader Joe’s for mangoes and pecans
came home to find a CraigsList missed connection
for the guy with the cool metallic band
before a week had passed, Nicole Richie
was on the cover of Us
a metallic band glowing on her temple
and three talented teens formed (drumrolls, tada)
the Amazing Metallic Band
and lo and behold, it was good.

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Tags: Bible, Cain, Metallic Band

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Author: Ruchy Fiedler (7 Articles)

Ruchy Fiedler, a Hasidism and modern literature buff, likes dissecting all things Hasidic and literary. She is the author of the blog Hasidism and Literature. Her work has appeared under various pseudonyms, one of which is Ruchy Fiedler, in various print and online journals, one of which is Unpious. She lives in a Hasidic community with a husband, children, a china closet, and no dogs.

38 Responses to “ The Mark of Cain ”

  1. kafhakela on May 24, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    Does the emperor wear no clothes, or am I blind?

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  2. B Kaplan on May 24, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    spectacular.

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  3. RFiedler on May 24, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    Thank you, B.

    What’s the problem, Kafhakela?

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  4. Baal Habos on May 24, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    It takes a special person to appreciate poetry; but I’m not one of them. ;)

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  5. kafhakela on May 24, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    Ruchy, there is no problem whatsoever, and you’re probably very skillful in your writing, but it just doesn’t talk to me. Sometimes words have a powerful effect, and I think even some of your pieces resonated with me. But poetry sometimes sounds hollow to me. Usually I assume that it is me that lacks the ability to appreciate it, just as I cannot appreciate the quality of a hundred dollar bottle of wine or the value of a 50 million dollar painting. But every once in a while, a little bit of apikorsis creeps up, and I wonder whether the painting isn’t worth anything close to what is being paid for it, the whole wine thing is way overrated, or some pieces of poetry are just empty words. Do the people who supposedly “get it” really have an acquired taste which I lack, or do they enjoy feeling educated and sophisticated? There probably is some of both factors, but, I wonder, how much of a role does the latter play? I suspect I will never know.
    So I wasn’t criticizing your piece, I was just wondering out something which I had been thinking about. That’s all…
    :) peace!

    Highly rated. Like this comment? Thumb up 10

  6. Bethany on May 24, 2010 at 10:49 pm

    Kaf: “Do the people who supposedly “get it” really have an acquired taste which I lack, or do they enjoy feeling educated and sophisticated?”

    The former.

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  7. kafhakela on May 24, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    Bethany, are you sure that is the case with ALL the supposedly sophisticated people? Or, that there is none of latter whatsoever involved?

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  8. Bethany on May 24, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    Sophistication is merely education. The more educated you are in a specific area, the more you understand and appreciate it — and that translates to sophistication.

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  9. quasi-intellectual quasi-chussid on May 25, 2010 at 12:04 am

    Wow, a poem that was from Milton lost!
    and a mark of Twain tossed
    in, for good measure n good taste.
    I hope the appreciation I feel
    isn’t lost in my poor empty peal,
    raw with haste,
    a mere echo of your poetry, of far greater appeal.

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  10. Hasidic Rebel on May 25, 2010 at 12:22 am

    I think the term “sophisticated” is a misnomer — at least in this context. Appreciation for poetry — as with any art — needs to be cultivated. Studying the various forms of expression in a given art-form allow one an appreciation for the good and the bad of that particular form. Lacking appreciation doesn’t make one unsophisticated, merely unfamiliar with that form of artistic expression.

    I happen to love this poem. I think it is a beautiful re-imagining of a Biblical tale, made even more immediate in a contemporary context. The imagery is vivid, and the contemporary colloquialisms used to superb effect.

    But that doesn’t mean that those who don’t appreciate it are somehow lacking in sophistication. Not every art form speaks to all people. The insinuation to the contrary is — dare I say the dreaded word — elitist. And elitism is just another word for snobbery. And snobs suck.

    Like this comment? Thumb up 1

  11. Bethany on May 25, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    HR, I disagree that the word *sophisticated* is a misnomer in this case. Sophistication implies a familiarity with the arts, regardless of whether a certain genre is to your taste or not. The question, “Does the emperor wear no clothes” indicates a total lack of knowledge of poetry, pop culture, possibly Biblical legend, and more. And yes, that is a lack of sophistication, not a mere distaste for a certain style or genre of creative work.

    Just to be clear, I don’t think that someone who’s sophisticated in a certain area is sophisticated in all. There are wine connoisseurs who have zero understanding of oil paintings, and there are those who recognize all the master painters and don’t understand or have interest in literary works. (Generally, though, artistic interests overlap.) Regardless, the connoiseurship of some or all of these so-called “finer things in life” are what makes society label her/him a sophisticate.

    And btw, where you use the word *cultivated*, I use the word *educated*. The meaning in this context is the same.

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  12. Tzippi Langstrumpf on May 25, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    One can perhaps cultivate an appreciation for fine wine, (educate would be an absolute wrong word choice), but that does not say anything about the many who are unfamiliar with the wine but will sniff, swish and spit and comment on the ‘robust bouquet’ with no clue as to what they are referring to.

    As a matter of fact, it has been documented that a great many people’s appreciation of wine is directly related to the price tag, regardless of content. The Emperor’s Clothes and all.

    Poetry too can either be appreciated on its own merit, or because someone says you gotta. But in truth – poetry either takes your breath away and captures your heart and soul, or it is simply a compilation of words in rhythmic verse. To say that if one doesn’t appreciate a particular poem then he must ‘lack knowledge of poetry, pop culture, possibly Biblical legend, and more’, is to not begin to grasp the elusive and effervescent beauty that is poetry.

    No worries though, it’s never too late. A true appreciation of the arts can always be cultivated.

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  13. Hasidic Rebel on May 25, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    Bethany — Lacking appreciation for one work of poetry, as brilliant as it might be, doesn’t indicate a general lack of appreciation for all those things you mention.

    Not every work of art speaks to all people. And I disagree that education equals cultivation. There are plenty individuals who’ve learned plenty about art theory and art history, and may have even mastered some of its forms, but are still unimpressed with certain forms of expression. The insinuation that such people are just “not sophisticated” is very simplistic — or, we might say, very unsophisticated.

    Like this comment? Thumb up 1

  14. Bethany on May 25, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    HR, of course I wasn’t referring to *one* specific work of poetry. Personally, I wouldn’t call this particular poem “brilliant,” though I like it a lot. I was referring to the general cluelessness inherent in a question like “does the emperor wear no clothes.”

    Regarding the education/cultivation terms, I’m not gonna quibble, but yes, we are using them the same way. The only way to cultivate an appreciation for literature, paintings, wine, dance, performance art, etc. is by educating oneself on what makes a work great. I do not mean that you must take classes or undergo formal education (though a formal class in art history is an amazing eye-opener if taken with the right teacher). The auto-didact who reads extensively, attends many performances, observes artwork in museums and galleries, etc., is at once educating her/himself and cultivating an appreciation or lack of it (but at least it’s a knowledgeable lack) for artistry.

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  15. Bethany on May 25, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    Btw, HR, how do you get your words to be italicized? I don’t see such an option in the comment section, so I keep using asterisks. Annoying.

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  16. Tzippi Langstrumpf on May 25, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    Beth, you’re saying it yourself. There is such a thing as a knowledgeable lack of appreciation for the arts. Being familiar with the terminology and knowing what one ought to appreciate, doesn’t do much for actually cultivating said appreciation.

    But in truth, while I do think that ‘cultivate’ was the proper term, I still think that there is something to be said for art that just blows the head clean off – no preamble or explanation of any sort necessary.

    As for the emperor’s clothes, I think that analysis was right on target. Too many seem to parrot the praise, so long as the piece is even somewhat ambiguous or appears high-falutin. Interestingly they are same people who think that the very essence of poetry appreciation is a matter of sophistication.

    Like this comment? Thumb up 2

  17. Aryeh on May 25, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    A masterpiece! Ruchy, I won’t write an ode to this poem, since quasi intellectual has already done that, but I have to say this is your best. Out of curiosity, is the God having a massage and disturbed by the racket a reference to the Epic of Atrahasis?

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  18. kafhakela on May 25, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    Bethany, what you want to learn is html tags

    For bold, type this before the words you want emboldened, and this after the words.
    for italics, and so on
    http://www.tizag.com/htmlT/htmlbold.php

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  19. Hasidic Rebel on May 25, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    Bethany:

    You missed my point. Of course, education might be crucial for cultivation, but the latter doesn’t automatically follow from the former. There are still matters of aesthetics that are subject to taste and personal preference.

    Tzippi:

    “I still think that there is something to be said for art that just blows the head clean off – no preamble or explanation of any sort necessary.”

    This is a deeply mistaken notion. Anything that “blows the head clean off” relies on references and allusions it trusts that the readers (or at least selected ones) understand. Your mistake is to think that only such references the writer can take for granted that the reader possesses can “blow the head clean off.” While in certain cultures the terms “Faking it,” and “Oh, God!” indicate a very specific double layer of meaning, to those who are unfamiliar with those layers (say, overly sheltered individuals) the reference falls flat.

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  20. Hasidic Rebel on May 25, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    Bethany — to italicize, surround the word or phrase with HTML “I” tags like this:

    <i>phrase to italicize</i>

    It should end up looking like this:

    phrase to italicize

    —-

    Note: the opener tag contains just an “i”. The closing tag has a forward-slash (“/”) before the “i”.

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  21. Bethany on May 25, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    Of course, education might be crucial for cultivation, but the latter doesn’t automatically follow from the former.

    Do you mean that appreciation doesn’t automatically follow education/cultivation? Otherwise, I’m not understanding you.

    Like this comment? Thumb up 0

  22. Bethany on May 25, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    Ah, thanks. Lemme try.

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  23. Hasidic Rebel on May 25, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    Bethany — You playing dumb? You’ve established your own rule that education and cultivation are synonymous, and then expect the discussion to proceed by that definition?

    Cultivation is the process of achieving appreciation — usually as a result of education, but it can also be a result of repeated exposure.

    I can’t believe we’ve actually reduced this discussion to semantics. Sheesh!

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  24. Hasidic Rebel on May 25, 2010 at 6:39 pm

    But indeed — even to go by your definition of education = cultivation: yes, that was my point. Appreciation doesn’t necessarily follow from education.

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  25. Bethany on May 25, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    I am not playing dumb, and I now realize we’re saying the exact same thing. Repeated exposure is a form of education unless one refuses to analyze or opine.

    (God, I’m like a little kid with an italics toy.)

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  26. Bethany on May 25, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    Just saw your last comment. I agree.

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  27. kafhakela on May 25, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    HR, how did you show the html tags without the system transforming it to html? what’s the trick?

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  28. Hasidic Rebel on May 25, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    For the < symbol, you type:

    &lt;

    For the > symbol, you type:

    &gt;

    (In case you were curious: lt = less than, gt = greater than.)

    And while we’re at it, for the & symbol, you type:

    &amp;

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  29. kafhakela on May 25, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    thanx

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  30. RFiedler on May 26, 2010 at 10:35 am

    Quasi, thank you so much. It’s a pleasure to offer my work to such an appreciative reader.

    Aryeh, thank you. You amaze me. I workshopped this poem in two different groups, and no one ever made the Atrahasis connection. The Atrahasis text was definitely my inspiration for this stanza. When I first studied it in a Bible class, I was tickled pink by the anthropomorphic descriptions of God, especially the supposed reason for the great flood. I remember getting the giggles in class and trying to hide behind my notes so that I don’t look like I’d gone batty.

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  31. SG on May 27, 2010 at 8:44 am

    As an infrequent commenter but long time comment-reader, I feel the need to say the following, in run-on sentence form:

    HR, for the sake of your writers and readers who actually feel like the comments section should address the piece of writing in question, as a “moderator” or editor or whatever you like to call yourself, you might want to steer the comments away from discussions about minutia mentioned in comments relating to the writing (ie sophistication and cultivation of taste, in this case).

    I don’t come here to discuss semantics, nor do I particularly care about why poetry speaks or doesn’t speak to some readers, or what certain particularly verbose commenters think about the relationship between education and cultivation. If you must tell us ALL why poetry doesn’t speak to you, at least be specific and relate it back to the writing in question. Otherwise, it seems Unpious is turning into nothing but a forum for petty debate and kvetching at other commenters, with decent to excellent writing being used as a jumping off point. That is not to say the opinions or subject matter of a piece should not be discussed in the comments section, but much of the commentary tends to nitpick a particularly unrelated comment or phrase and beat a dead horse for thirty comments or so.

    People clearly spend time on their work here, whether it speaks to specific readers or not; isn’t it our responsibility to do their effort justice by at least keeping our comments and constructive criticism specific to their writing?

    :-)

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  32. Bethany on May 27, 2010 at 10:21 am

    SG, 95% of the comments on this site are about minutiae not related to the post commented on. Apparently, that’s how the readers like it.

    I’m curious. Am I the alleged verbose commenter you’re objecting to?

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  33. Sarah on May 27, 2010 at 10:33 am

    Just curious, what’s the difference between the words “commenter” and “commentator”?

    Ooops, um . . . I really liked the poem . . . uh . . . it seemed very . . . extemporaneous.

    Just teasing you, SG. I get your point, and maybe you’re right, but I enjoy reading all the comments (and sometimes joining in) even when they seem to have nothing to do with the literature.

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  34. kafhakela on May 27, 2010 at 11:20 am

    Just curious, what’s the difference between the words “commenter” and “commentator”?
    The difference is obvious, and you should have known that already from reading all the comments on this thread.
    If you are sophisticated enough, having cultivated your “commentator-ing” skills, and perhaps even having acquired an “education” in properly “critiquing” others’ works, than you may consider yourself a “commentatorer…”
    On the other hand, if you indicate a total lack of knowledge of poetry, pop culture, possibly Biblical legend, and more, than you aren’t anything more than a lowly commenter.
    (Disclaimer: Nothing “stingy” intended here, just an attempt, albeit an unsophisticated one, at being cute.)

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  35. Bethany on May 27, 2010 at 11:33 am

    Kaf, that’s actually funny. But get rid of the “er” at the end of commentatorer.

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  36. kafhakela on May 27, 2010 at 11:43 am

    Bethany, why should I get rid of the “er” at the end of commentatorer, is it because my spell checkerer doesn’t like it?

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  37. Sarah on May 27, 2010 at 1:13 pm

    Commentatorer. Deffinately a keeper.

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  38. SG on May 27, 2010 at 11:16 pm

    Bethany,
    No, you are not, and those who know me probably know who I’m referring to (ahem). :-) I actually didn’t mean to point fingers though.

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