Identity Not in Crisis
[Opinion]
This weekend I read a book called Fiedler on the Roof, a collection of essays about literature and Jewish identity by Leslie Fiedler. I received this book from a cyber-friend who, unaware that Ruchy Fiedler is a pseudonym, imagined that the intellectual/literary critic might possibly be a relative. Although I am, of course, no relative of Leslie Fiedler, I was delighted to accept the book. Not only have the few Fiedler essays I’d read in the past inspired me, but this particular subject matter—literature and Jewish identity—seemed a feast customized for my palate. I couldn’t wait to begin reading. I envisioned finding myself in his essays, my own fuzzy, inarticulate thoughts and feelings made lucid by his eloquent pen.
I envisioned wrong. The essays, for those who relish thorough analysis, are pure pleasure. Fiedler’s depth of knowledge of the 20th century’s literary greats, especially the Modernists (Eliot, Joyce, Pound) and Jewish-American authors (Singer, Bellow, Roth, Malamud) is inspiring, enviable. But I could not relate to his discourse on Jewish identity. All the discussion about Jewish consciousness in the western world, about reacting to the Holocaust as a Jew assimilated in American culture, about finding a way to deal with inherent anti-semitism in literature that you grew up idolizing, did not resonate with me at all.
I did the little mind quiz I usually do when writing doesn’t speak to me. Is the piece well written? Check. Does the topic interest me? Check. Does its thesis ring true? Check. Do the words have soul? Semi-check. Does the theme relate to my life? I was about to give this one a confident check—how could Jewish identity not pertain to me?—when I realized, no, it actually doesn’t. I am the most conspicuously Jewish Jew: a Chusid. But despite that, or more accurately, because of that, the Jewish identity quandary that Fiedler and Bellow and Roth struggled with is not an issue for me at all.
Once I actually thought about it, the reason was easily evident. A Chasid’s Jewish identity, consciousness, and awareness are confined to his community. He/she is concerned with how the Chassidic, and to a lesser extent, Charedi society views him/her. The “outside” world and all it entails—its culture, likes, dislikes, and norms—are peripheral at most and, in general, entirely ignored. Fiedler and his peers, conversely, were, for all intents and purposes, goyim. Other than their being born to Jewish parents, what differentiated their lives from those of the typical western non-Jew? Finding their Jewish identity within their secular lives was, indeed, a challenge.
Not so for the typical conformist Chasid. He is a Jew before he is anything else. His Jewish identity defines him even more than his humanness. If a challenge exists at all, it is in finding a secular identity.
Recently, I met a garrulous acquaintance on the train. She complimented my wig (loudly), then proceeded to touch it and ask me (again, loudly) about the quality of the hair, how often I wash it, and other such questions. I cringed. Nobody on that train appeared interested in our conversation, but I still squirmed uncomfortably, my eyes flitting across the riders’ faces to assess their reactions. I wanted to tell this acquaintance that perhaps we shouldn’t discuss our wigs, that the goyim might think we are weirdos, but I knew she would think I was the weirdo. In fact, I am. She is typical, I, the anomaly.
What goyim think is not a concern of the conventional Chasid; what the neighbor across the street thinks is. Her Jewish identity in the western world is not a thought that crosses the Chasid’s mind; her status in the Williamsburg or Monsey community, very much so. The anti-semitism of T. S. Eliot who writes heart-stopping poetry does not excite the Chasid; the latest rule of the Monroe vaad does. A Chasid grows up in a microscopic cosmos, separate from the world of other Jews and even more so, of non-Jews.
I do not mean to say that Chasidim don’t interact with the secular world around them. Certainly, they do. Chasidim shop in regular stores, use the western world’s transportation, engage in business with goyim, utilize all kinds of technology, are influenced by the world’s fashions, architecture, music, etc. But what they care about—the problems that keep them up at night, the ideas that make their hearts jump, the news that excites them, the thoughts that impassion them—is their tiny community and their place in it. That is their identity: A Jew. A Chusid.
Occasionally, the outside word invades their cocoon. A magazine article critical of Chasidim. The conviction and/or arrest of a Chasid followed, naturally, by outsiders’ negative opinions. Admittedly, when these relatively rare incidences occur, a portion of chassidic society gets riled up, impassioned suddenly by something outside their microcosmic enclave. (Who can forget the effusion of indignation that followed Mark Jacobson’s NY Magazine article about Gitty Grunwald?) But this is the exception, not the norm. In a Chasid’s habitual routine, life—existential contentment and angst—orbits within the borders of Monroe and its cousin communities.
I often wonder whether this may partially explain the lack of fulfillment of many who chose to leave the Chasidic lifestyle. (I am speaking of the ones who left on principle, the ones who abandoned the lifestyle after agonizing thought, not those who simply drift toward secularity because it is easiest to do so, given their particular situations.) How do they find meaning in the “minutiae” that life consists of? If the only knowledge that counted was Talmudic erudition, how can he take seriously the glossing and exegesis of Beowulf? If music was something to accompany chores or dance to at weddings, how can she understand the guy who will not marry someone who doesn’t share his taste in music? If the only people of importance were those who lived around your metaphorical corner, how can you become impassioned, be willing to give of your time, effort and money, for, say, a political candidate? I am not implying that every secular person takes glossing of ancient texts seriously; quite the contrary, only a tiny minority do. My point, instead, is that once one has left has left the world that extends from Division Avenue to Lynch Street in search of a more meaningful life, it is exceedingly difficult to find that meaning, to become seriously enthusiastic, about all the things one has been indoctrinated to ridicule and repudiate.
A Chasid has a unique mindset. He lacks the propaedeutic knowledge necessary to feel passionate about the goy’s world, but he will easily become fired up—either agreeing or disagreeing, but vehemently—over the ditty Fiedler claims is the first Yiddish song his grandfather taught him: “Oi, oi, oi, a shicker is a goy. Shicker is er, trinken mis er, veil er is a goy.” An identity crisis is not a chussid’s affliction. Confident, secure, self-assured, the Chasid is convinced that bishvil li nivra haolam, the world was created for him and his kind. Of course, that world ends at the Williamsburg Bridge.
Fiedler on the Roof by Leslie Fiedler, David R. Godine Publisher Inc.
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Having been a therapist who worked with those crushed in spirit by their chasidic world, or those who were trying to break away, I would have to say that a chasid is NOT first and formost a Jew. I think that they are first and foremost members of a cult.
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Ruchy, as great as your other posts were, this one exceeded even my expectations.
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Fantastic essay!
> If the only knowledge that counted was Talmudic erudition, how can he take seriously the glossing and exegesis of Beowulf
Some random thoughts.
He doesn’t have to. There’s physics, chemistry and other topics. It’s a big world out there. In other words, a scholar can immerse himself in knowledge that has real application in the outside world. (Assuming he/she gets educated.)
The flip side is that lack of fulfullment can plague anyone. It’s not limited to people who lose their beliefs.
Also I would question whether such people exist. There probably is no such animal, whose life is completely dedicated to ancient texts, who ends up as a skeptic. The skepticism probably creeps up on those who have already opened the door.
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Great piece, Ruchy! I really enjoyed it, and now there are a bunch of little thoughts floating around my brain. I love thought provoking articles such as this. Thank you!
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What a great piece! As far as the cult reference in the 1st comment; of course there is some dysfunction is frum communities as well. However, as the author writes, this is in no way the norm. America is a much much bigger cult; the same 5 designers, movies, songs, actors.. 1 big dysfunctional cult! At least the frum cult, for the most part, creates happier children, and MOST IMPORTANTLY(!), marriages that last, with happy children and grandchildren. Most secular people will unfortunately never know that joy. The only thing I could add, since I am lubavitch, is that ALL jews are first and foremost jews. As the heat of anti-semetism rises, the secular feel and acknowledge this as well. I see this all the time with the ‘not-yet-(openly)-religious’.
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Ruchy, what a nice and well writen article.
What amuses me is that even when you write an essay, it comes in that poetic package that is inside of you.
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WOW, what a beautiful and thought-provoking piece! You summed it all up really well!
This can also explain why the typical Chusid isn’t concerned about the environment (and about a million other important things). Regardless of whether the environmentalists are right or wrong, when the typical Chusid tells you that it’s all a big lie, he/she are saying so because they simply don’t care. It doesn’t affect, like the author so eloquently puts it, their metaphorical corners. Basically, we’re an extreme form of isolationists.
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Thank you Eli, BH, Kaf, Yosef, Farchapt and AE. I appreciate your kind words.
Farchapt, that’s an interesting observation. The funny thing is that of all the writing forms, I consider myself least adept at poetry. This, despite my using this journal to showcase some of my work in poetry. I wonder if I tend to write poetically even when I write prose or if you, a reader who’s gotten to know me through my poetry pieces, instinctively sees my writing as poetic.
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Yosef,
America has enough crazies to go around, but to say they’re all one big cult is just silly. America must be one of the most diverse countries in the world. Everyone is accepted here, INCLUDING the Chasidim, which makes in the best country in the world as well. Have you ever seen how many different genres there are in music, film, books, art, etc? You call that a cult?
On the other hand, most Chasidim (men, at least) dress alike. Their women shave their heads (but leave hair where one should shave…). Men let their beards grow in every which direction, walk around dressed in long black coats during the most brutal summer days, with four layers of clothing underneath them for good measure. I can bore you all night with examples, but THAT’s what I would call a cult!
Sorry bro, but your way of thinking, and your idea of the outside world is exactly what the author is trying to describe, I think.
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As mark twain openly writes, “all forces fade away except the Jew: all forces are mortal except the Jew. What is the secret of his immortality”? It’s these “guidelines” (not rules) that channel our energy into infinity. (Besides, the entire world (for the most part) 70 years ago, was 1 BIG cult! With one goal: destroy,or not care about, the Jews. Not-withstanding all those ‘genres’ of people. If they seem to be ‘many’ it’s only externally.
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Gold! What a beautiful piece Ruchy.
You really captured nicely the Chusid with his horns trapped in the Bishvili Nivru HuOlam motto…
Yosef, “destroy or not care about the jews”??? Does the world really have to worship us and babysit us? Seems you’re also stuck in the “everything revolves around the Jews” sentiment. Yes, there is antisemitism brewing, but the world has a billion other issues on the agenda. And btw, our marriages “last” but they don’t particulay “work”.
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Sorry to hear about your marriage. There must be other “chassidik” marriages you know of that do ‘work’..but I know what u mean… Life aint paradise for anyone (I meant ‘not care’ that we were being destroyed)
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That is their identity: A Jew. A Chusid….An identity crisis is not a chussid’s affliction. Confident, secure, self-assured, the Chasid is convinced that bishvil li nivra haolam…
I think you’re suggesting that the Jewish/American identity conflict does not resonate with you because of your lack of Americanization – which is quite obvious if you are (as any Chasid) not Americanizing. However, I would argue that the overall absence of identity crises among Chassidim is hardly due to their strong identity as Jews and Chassidim, rather I think it is due to a lack of any individual identity altogether. It is an absence of an actualized self that means there will be no clash of selves.
Those Chassidim who leave the fold don’t struggle with reconciling different identities as do the famous modern Jewish authors, but they are confronted with a different struggle, a complete blank-slate, a total Amnesia of who they are, what they are like, what their strengths and weaknesses are, where they belong, what they prefer. The identity crisis of those that leave isn’t a tug of war between Jewish consciousness and assimilation, it is not the conflict of two identities, it is the torment of no identity at all, of nisht a yid, nisht a goy.
On another note, the ethnocentric cocoon of the Chasid you describe is quite common of ethnic minority subcultures anywhere. Being anti-assimilation as a sub-culture does not obliterate identity crises; it takes something a lot worst within the bubble of the subculture for people to be as unaware of themselves and their identities as are Chassidim.
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Yosel,
How much sleep exactly did you lose in 1994 when nearly 1 million ppl were killed in Rwanda, mostly with machetes? My guess is none! If you don’t care about the rest of the world, why oh why should they care about you?
Now, I will say this though, both are criminal. We’re criminals in not losing sleep over the Rwanda genocide and other important issues, and so is the world about not protecting the Jews during the holocaust. But to say that it makes them a cult makes no sense whatsoever.
Insider, you make a very good point regarding marriage. What Yosel fails to understand is that, while our marriages do last long, and mostly till death does us apart, it’s only because the culture is such that the alternative to marriage is far worse than to stay married to someone you have nothing in common with and don’t particularly like. (I call it roommates with benefits…) Being divorced or single in this community comes with serious consequences. Truth is, we do have more stable homes due to our long-lasting marriages, but that doesn’t necessarily make us a happier ppl.
IMO, the only way someone can be OK with an arranged marriage is if they’re naïve where they don’t know that things could actually be better, or they’re ignorant and pretend that that’s what they actually wanted. My feeling is it’s the latter. After all, ignorance is a strong trade of the Chasidim. Like those who say “I couldn’t have asked for a better wife or husband”. What a coincident that some schmuck shadchen who wanted to make a buck was able to pair him or her with their soul mate, and that match happens to live within a 2-mile radius. Truly a miracle!
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Oy oy the older bitter generation of alter ego & friends!!!… The main point… This article was GREAT!
. See ya
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Thanks, Insider!
Shpitzel, I get what you’re saying, but as much as I can judge from personal experience, I will respectfully disagree. The people I know who either went MO or left the lifestyle completely after giving it a lot of thought are generally women and men who had also given extensive thought to what makes them tick and had, in fact, already experimented with various secular interests before they “left the fold.”
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Shpitzle,
I have a hard time understanding how people who leave the fold wouldn’t have an have an identity anymore…I imagine they’re renegociating one, struggling with finding an individuality rather than loosing completely their identity. no?
The past and previous experience will always be part of the person’s identity. It’s the new self for sure but I don’t see it as a total rupture. (Once a chusid, than an ex).
I see it more as a reconstruction of the identity…with a lot of confusion for sure, this I can foresee but I was wondering what you meant by: « it is not the conflict of two identities, it is the torment of no identity at all, of nisht a yid, nisht a goy.»
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>At least the frum cult, for the most part, creates happier children, and MOST IMPORTANTLY(!), marriages that last, with happy children and grandchildren. Most secular people will unfortunately never know that joy<
You're joking, right?
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