Men vs Women
A friend and I were discussing Girls Night Out. “It happens,” she said, “but it is not common that a woman has that experience. It’s much more often the men who are out partying – although mostly without their wives’ knowledge.”
I think she may be right. There are definitely much more men than women in the group of people I know who have left the religious community – and the group I know that are in the community living double lives. But I do wonder what the real numbers are. Maybe there are as many women as men, but women, for some reason, are more quiet about their rebellion or less likely to be able to act out, or to get completely out? Maybe the daily responsibilities of children sap them of their ability to explore as much as their male counterparts can? A lot of the men I know who live double lives, use work to facilitate their “explorations” – business trips, and business contacts. Maybe that gives them more opportunity? Most of the women I know who work outside of their homes in the religious community work in very religious environments that offer little wiggle room for exploration. Or maybe it’s the emphasis on “tsnius” – modesty – that acts as a “moat” isolating curious women from their desires, creating a gigantic hurdle if they ever want to act on them, in a way that men don’t have?
Lots of questions, no clear answers. I imagine it would be hard to really know the truth, we have mostly only anecdotal evidence about our own friends and experiences. But any opinions from you all – are more men than women leaving or interested in leaving – and if yes, what are the reasons that make it so?Printable Version