Special Report
Ex-Hasidic Mother Loses Custody of Children
A 32-year-old mother from Monsey, N.Y., has lost custody of her children due largely to what a judge described as the mother’s inadequate religious observance.
Kelly Myzner
In a ruling dated April 22, 2013, Judge Sherri L. Eisenpress, of Rockland County Family Court, ordered the custody transfer “despite the children’s expressed wishes.” The judge acknowledged that the mother has been the children’s primary caretaker, that the children were “extremely bonded” to her, and that she appeared to be “far more involved and vigilant” about their care than the father. Still, the judge worried that the mother’s lax religious observance would “tremendously confuse” and harm the children.
Complicating the case are allegations of physical and sexual abuse brought by the mother against the father, and the judge’s speculation that the complaints were only a ploy to alienate the children from their father. Myzner claims that she had no such intentions, and the court ruling acknowledges that the father regularly used corporal punishment coupled with a bad temper.
On May 14, after an unsuccessful bid for a stay on the order, the children were removed from Myzner’s custody. Due to pending investigations against the father on abuse complaints, the children were placed in foster care.
“I am in complete shock,” Myzner said, a day after her children were taken. “I can’t sleep. I can’t stop shaking. I miss my kids more than words can describe. I’m just praying that they feel safe and that the truth will come out.”
*
Myzner’s tale of frustration with the Hasidic community began nearly a decade ago, when she first befriended a Satmar family in Brooklyn, at age 23. Raised in Brick, N.J., in one of the town’s few Jewish but secular families, the Satmar world was new to her—and, at first, strangely appealing.
“I thought I found truth, beauty, and a community in Hasidism,” she says. She had often felt different from her neighbors growing up, and she hadn’t quite understood why. “As a child,” Myzner says, “we had swastikas painted on our driveway. There were children who were not allowed to play with me because I was Jewish.” The Satmars, with their dedication to faith and tradition, offered a compelling perspective from which to view her own experiences.
Soon Myzner adopted the Hasidic lifestyle, and after several brief sit-in dates, she was married to a Satmar boy, the match arranged through friends and professional matchmakers.
“I was totally clueless about what was happening,” Myzner says. “I trusted that my friends wanted the best for me. So I went along with it. I wanted to be part of this, to be the perfect Satmar wife and mother.”
Myzner hadn’t realized that the pool of prospective matches had been a narrow one. “I was a baal tshuvah, and they were basically setting me up with Satmar ‘bums.’ I was taking my religion very seriously, and these boys were just not like that. But I had no way to know that.”
Disillusion was swift.
During their engagement period, Myzner and her betrothed had a one-time sexual tryst, and Myzner wondered whether her partner was really the perfect Satmar boy she was told about, or only drawn to her because of her more liberal upbringing. Still, she dismissed the encounter as an innocent slip-up. Soon after the wedding, however, she began to notice a pattern. “He bought a TV the first week we were married,” she says. Televisions are strictly prohibited within the Satmar community, and she was shocked at the ease with which her husband was willing to violate the rules.
Myzner describes subsequent years of a tumultuous and unhappy marriage. Early on, her husband turned critical over what he saw as her own lack of religious dedication. He also turned inattentive, and she felt her emotional state crumbling. “The very night of the wedding, he went to sleep with headphones over his ears. He paid no attention to me.”
The couple settled in Monsey, N.Y., and went on to have three children within a three-year period. Myzner says her children were her main source of comfort as the marriage deteriorated further. Rabbis and community counselors offered little help, Myzner says. “One by one they told me it was my fault, that I must be doing something wrong in the bedroom or kitchen.”
Her husband struggled in his own way: He often had uncontrollable outbursts of fury, Myzner says, and court documents reveal he was diagnosed with ADHD. Myzner says she remains sympathetic. “He had a very difficult childhood. He lost his parents at a young age, and he’s been through a lot. Some of his issues might stem from that.”
Her sympathy, however, didn’t protect her from his temper. When Myzner befriended a non-Hasidic neighborhood woman, her husband grew angry, and began to complain that Myzner herself was “not Jewish enough.” When Myzner refused to break off the friendship, Myzner says her husband flew into a fit of rage and threatened to “choke her [the friend] with a belt, and then he punched a hole in the wall in front of the kids.”
Myzner felt scared and confused by her husband’s outbursts, she says, but felt helpless to do anything. She had cut off contact with her old friends in the secular world, and felt trapped in a society that failed to provide her with much needed support.
After their third child was born, she claims her husband pressured her to go to work, but when Myzner hired a non-Jewish nanny to help care for the children, her husband had another one of his fits, locking the nanny out of the bathroom and tossing her food in the trash.
It wasn’t until November of 2011, that Myzner felt that she could no longer remain silent. She discovered signs of physical and sexual abuse on one of her children, she says. She believed that the abuser was her husband, and she did what she believed any responsible parent would do: she turned to her children’s doctor to report what she saw. A complaint was filed with Child Protective Services soon after, presumably by the doctor.
Myzner’s husband then filed for sole legal and physical custody of her children, effectively ending the marriage.
What began for Myzner as an attempt to protect her children, turned into a grueling inquisition over her level of religious observance.
Once the couple split, Myzner began to change in small ways. Feeling increasingly alienated from Monsey’s Hasidic community, she turned for support to her mother and some of her old friends back in New Jersey. She began to relax some of the practices she had undertaken over the previous years. “I was trying to find myself again, after what had been for me a number of disastrous years.”
Her ex-husband soon pounced with an attack: She was planning to leave the Hasidic community, he claimed in court documents, and her disregard for Hasidic law and custom made her unfit to continue parenting their children.
At first it seemed like her ex-husband was alone against her, but she soon realized it was a community-wide effort.
“I got threatening phone calls… all kinds of scare tactics,” Myzner says.
One day, she discovered surveillance cameras outside her neighbors’ homes turned suspiciously in her home’s direction. After confronting the neighbor, she was told the cameras were installed at the request of a local rabbi, ostensibly to monitor her behavior. A forensic psychologist who would later testify in court told her outright that she didn’t stand a chance. “The community is too powerful,” she remembers him saying.
Myzner was frightened, but remained determined. Her ex-husband, who works as a warehouse supervisor, hired a high-priced, aggressive attorney, who Myzner believes is being paid for by the Hasidic community. Myzner herself was forced to rely on pro bono legal representation from a local women’s shelter, which, she says, has proven insufficient to fight the aggressive tactics of her opponents.
Over the ensuing months there were additional C.P.S. complaints against the father, most of them filed not by Myzner but by professionals treating the children—pediatricians, therapists, psychiatrists. Myzner says she turned to professionals for guidance after the children returned from visiting their father with tales of beatings with belts and sticks. Their bodies were bruised. “What kind of mother would I be if I ignored it?”
Once the trial came around, in August of 2012, Myzner sat through days of testimony that felt to her like a Kafkaesque nightmare.
While her ex-husband acknowledged his episodes of rage and his frequent use of corporal punishment, he denied that any of it amounted to abuse; he argued in turn that her complaints only showed her desire to live a secular life undisturbed by his involvement in the children’s lives. Myzner vehemently denies that charge.
“I could not believe it,” Myzner says. “I was trying to protect my children, and he was making it about me not being religious enough.”
Most—although not all—of the abuse and neglect allegations were returned by Child Protective Services unfounded, but Myzner says her concerns were serious. Myzner says one of her sons returned from visitation with a broken finger, but the father did not mention it nor had he taken the child to see a doctor. “How could I not take this seriously? I just want him [the father] to get the help he needs.”
The judge, however, couldn’t get past Myzner’s lifestyle choices. In her April 22 ruling, the judge awarded custody to the father based primarily on the facts relating to Myzner’s drift from religious observance.
The judge acknowledged that Myzner had the right to live with or without religion. She also acknowledged that Myzner was overall the more involved and attentive parent, and that the father had shown a pattern of denial of the children’s needs. She also acknowledged the father’s anger problems and his regular use of corporal punishment. Ultimately, though, it came down to who fit in better with the children’s Hasidic lifestyle.
The judge wrote she was concerned that the mother’s decision to “become secular” would spill over to the children, and that, among other things, the mother “(may) [might] change the children’s conservative attire and grooming, change her appearance when she is with the children, permit the children to view television and access the internet.”
The Court, the judge wrote in her ruling, credited the view of a local Orthodox psychiatrist who testified “that it would be difficult psychologically and tremendously confusing for children raised in a religious home to live between two different worlds.”
Myzner questions that view. “My children already know there are two worlds,” she says. “They have long been exposed to people outside the Hasidic world.” Myzner says her children have a close relationship with her own mother, their grandmother, who does not lead a religiously observant lifestyle. “It hasn’t confused them at all. It has made them more aware of people’s differences.”
For now, the children have been placed with a Hasidic family Myzner does not know. Days later, Myzner says the emotional toll feels too great to bear.
“I have no words. I am in so much pain, and I can’t escape it. I feel so helpless and scared and confused.”
Myzner says she is determined to appeal the ruling. She lacks the funds to hire an attorney, she says, but she isn’t letting that stop her.
“I’ll file the paperwork on my own if I have to,” she says. “My children are my life, and I know that they need me. I am not giving up.”
~
To contribute to Ms. Myzner’s legal fund, please visit the “Bring Kelly’s Kids Home” fundraising campaign.
To offer other assistance regarding Ms. Myzner’s case, please contact the following organization:
Footsteps
info@footstepsorg.org / 212-253-0891
www.footstepsorg.org
For general questions or comments about this article, please contact the author at: shulem.deen@unpious.com.
Printable Version
Can you post the entire ruling?
WHAT A JOKE this article is. Biased and so transparent. As if anyone believes that’s why someone loses kids. She was brainwashing her kids against their own dad, and confused the hell out them when her own cousin and her began a physical relationship often flaunting it in front of her children
Please, this chic became a Balas teshuva and a few ears later changed her mind. SHe is unstable and befriends a group of unstable people as well. This article is laughable at best. WHats not funny is these children have to have a MOM that decided to be selfish and put her own needs before what would be best for her children because heaven forbid she conform a bit. No. SHe rather be ” free”. Well, freedom tastes sour when you do it at the expense of your children’s stability.
Are you truly asking people to donate ? To an irresponsible reckless Mom?
as expected, (horrible) people like jesse (presumably, a yoily) dont address anything of substance and just jack off with idiocy…pls keep the comments coming so decent people can see how you taliban people behave…yes, take kids away from mothers because they are bal tshuvas who change their mind and date cousins…dont discuss the, admitted, abuse of the father and the uncontested mothering skills of the more secular parent…just cherry pick some flaws, that im sure you, you fucking phony, dont have
Jesse, get a hold of yourself, it’s not the shtibbel here. A Baal Teshuva should never make radical changes, and in general this applies to most situations in life. Haredim and especially Hasidim have become robots, these people don’t think any more! Fixation, makes these sectors extremely non-ethical and immoral. This story is a sad one, humanity wishes for justice to be done.
HA.you would like to believe I’m a religious Taliban . But I am not. I am reading this because someone linked it, and I was shocked that people who claim to be intelligent are making such outrageous claims when there are so many holes in this biased essay on a website that promotes harboring negativity against a particular group of people.
Lets not make this a religious case- shall we? this is an irresponsible mother who lost her right to make legal decisions for these kids. And will still maintain rights to see them and be a part of their lives. But no, this is a mother who decided her sex life was far more important than her children, and has repeatedly bad mouthed her kids own father and made FALSE claims of abuse in court- not ONE of her claims was able to stick. By the way- this info is available online- anyone can access that and still choose to share what they want. I am not personally attacking an commenters but I am laughing at the sheer ignorance of the post and the desire to dupe people into believing this is about religion. Please. Its about a selfish Mom who now has to take a step back because she herself first took steps back. And now she’s being brainwashed by the “OTD TALIBAN” to desperately to grapple at strings and go public with her lame religion story. Again. SHE chose this religion. NOBODY forced her, and now she unchose it. This is a lifestyle were talking about. That and bad mouthing a child’s own parent to the point of brainwashing does NOT scream stability.
I’m sure she loves her kids. How could she not. SHe is not a bad person. But she is an adult and she made choices that have consequences that have NADA to do with religion. Go sell someone else a bridge. ANd claiming abuse when the courts repeatedly dismissed her claims is just LOW. YOu lose the peoples trust that way.
I honestly have to agree with Jessie here. You can shoot the messenger but someones gotta say the truth. This is awfully one sided and I don’t see how a custody case with two sides and only one side talking is a fair place to ask people to donate and choose a side. Im sure there are facts about Kelly other than her lack of religiousity that haven’t been put online.I don’t think its fair to put propaganda out there when only one side tells theor story. I and anyone else reading this article would be a fool to take her side without hearing both sides equally.
the judge has heard both sides, you dimwit…i read the transcripts, her parenting skills were not questioned and in fact lauded…its ONLY because of religiosity that she lost her kids, those are the FACTS!!!
There are so many judges on the bench with issues ranging from dysfunction to outright mental illness – and once they’re in, it’s nearly impossible to get rid of them. Our judicial system is one of the many things that have made us the laughing stock of the developed world.
Meanwhile, this:
“I was a baal tshuvah, and they were basically setting me up with Satmar ‘bums.’ I was taking my religion very seriously, and these boys were just not like that. But I had no way to know that.’ ”
Animals. I never speak this way, but they should all burn in hell.
And Jessie – you’re an imbecile. My sincere wish is that someday, you’re made to suffer as this young woman has suffered.
[…] you want to see one version of the facts go to Unpious and read Ex-Hasidic Mother Loses Custody of Children by Shulem Deen. Whether the facts are the way the ex-hasid community presents them or not, the […]
When the story is about a specific case it’s often hard to keep people unbiased because they’ll see what they want to see, there are two sides and they’ll assume that the other side must have some redeeming factors in their favor.
The issue is this; can anyone name a case where one partner in a marriage left ultra-Orthodoxy and the ultra-Orthodox community didn’t do all it could to have the children taken away from them? I think if you take even a surface look, let alone look any deeper, you’ll see a pattern, and it ain’t a pretty one.
@Shragi: “I think if you take even a surface look, let alone look any deeper, you’ll see a pattern, and it ain’t a pretty one.”
Precisely.
I’ve read the comments and they are quite interesting. Religion is still BS. Have a great day.
Let’s talk objective facts.
1. The judge seems to have a bias. If she is not religious herself, her decision does not seem to be based on the American Judicial System’s principles of justice. In fact, New York has a no-fault divorce law, which means that almost always the mother has custody. In fact I know of a case where the mother was adulterous, got pregnant whilst married, and STILL got custody. Thus, this judge’s decision is outside the norms of New York (perhaps Monsey is different, but it’s still NY) law, and certainly deviates from the way courts tend to rule in the US.
And especially all the more so in cases where the paternal option is suspected of abuse.
Since the judge seems to be biased, the question is where the bias is coming from. As one commentators on FB suggested, “from what i’ve been reading it seems as though the chasidic community has the authorities of rockland county (judges, cops) in their back pocket. it’s all politics…” If this is the case, the judge is being biased (and perhaps more) by the community. I don’t know how to respond to this, except to suggest the matter is appealed to a court outside Rockland County. In addition, I hope those outside that community, such as those present here, will support her morally and in any way possible.
2. From an American perspective, the decision is unsound. To extract children and leave them under the domain of an explosive parent vulnerable to abuse is a crime. Posing the question of which is worse for the child’s growth and well-being–the risk of the child being exposed to abuse, or the risk of the child being exposed to religious wavering–which is more of a threat to the child’s stability, it is of course obvious that violence potential poses more of a threat, and obviously, the children would be safer with their mother. The judge’s counter-intuitive decision sniffs that something else is underway here. I hope it is uncovered what it is, because it makes absolutely no sense.
3. Now let’s talk Judaism, without getting emotional here. Even if you hate judaism or disagree, it is important to know that this decision is corrupt (IMO) even within the Judaic system’s values, even within Hasidic values:
The kabalah and tanya speak of 5 levels of soul: Nefesh, Ruach, Neshama, Hayya, Yechida.
The nefesh includes the physical body and the Ruach (some say) is the emotional territory; some say the Ruach actually includes mental stability. See sources that mention ‘Ruach’ such as when Shaul had a Ruach Ra.
Children are exempt from various commands because their nefesh is growing and their ruach is not developed yet. You do not force children to do behaviors expected of adults. The nefesh and its safety are not expected to be endangered unless it is for the three cardinal sins, idolatry, adultery or murder (not in self defense). Other than that, for the safety and health of adults and children especially when one’s life is at stake, even the sabbath is permitted to be desecrated. For the most part, the health, physical safety of the child takes priority over matters related to spirit. If the child has a chance of exposure to violence, vs. the chance of exposure to being secular (not idolatry–not a church, etc), it seems pretty clear that the Torah would most certainly obligate the children to go to the mother and not be exposed to violence.
Here too the judge seems to be uncannily biased and making an unsound decision from a healthy religious perspective (Yes, I used both words in the same sentence, there are those that retain both). It is not healthy for the children to be in a violent situation, more unhealthy for them than to be in a totally secular background. Those that do not understand this are not following the Torah. Period.
I hope those healthy voices within humanity, the world, the community, wherever–stand up for this woman and let the children–who themselves want to be mom connected–be in a healthy environment. As I often say, if you want to be holy, you have to be healthy. Holy without healthy (emotionally as well) is not truly holy.
May G-d be with these children and their mom and protect us all from religious distortion.
It doesn’t matter if the mother is a Baal Teshuva or not. She tried a form of Judaism that she found to be stifling and miserable. The pediatrician (and others) found enough signs of abuse to report the father. In this country religion should have NOTHING to do with custody of minor children. Despite what you ultra-religious types believe, this is a country built on separation of church and state. Hopefully, this ruling will not stand.
The bottom line – If you had brought up your kids in a certain lifestyle,You just cannot wake up one day and say I am changing their up bringing this will confuse the hell out of these kids . You brought these kids to this world you have a responsbilty as a parent not to be selfish and change thier lifestyle cause you had decided like that . If one parent wishes to change do it and knock yourself out, but do not drag your kids into your selfish behavior . If the father would of changed his lifystyle the ruling would of been the same .stop being selfish – if you want this lifestyle by all means go ahead but leave the kids out of it .
>The bottom line – If you had brought up your kids in a certain lifestyle,You just cannot wake up one day and say I am changing their up bringing this will confuse the hell out of these kids .
Of course you can. What if a couple, happily married, decides to change its lifestyle? They can’t? They can. And no one will take the kids away.
Frankly, without the transcript and complete ruling I don’t think anyone can legitimately form an opinion of the case.
Who was this judge? Since when was showing children a monolithic view of the world a requirement for parenthood? Showing children more than “one world”? The world is a multifaceted place, and for most parents (I would hope), part of raising children is about introducing them to the many parts of the world, guiding them with values with which to engage the world. Taking away someone’s children because they might might make a reasonable decision about how to practice religion? Sounds like a violation of the first amendment, and ignorance. It sounds like the husband leveraged connections in the Satmar community to influence the judge. This poor woman probably doesn’t have as many resources as the husband.
Can someone please post links to the transcripts of court decisions, etc.?
Who’s the judge? Her:
http://newyork.newsday.com/news/region-state/moses-stern-developer-in-spring-valley-probe-owed-rockland-judge-sherri-eisenpress-firm-500g-1.5010612
Shraga I do!
I know of three OTD women who kept custody of their children.
Did the frum community fight them? OF COURSE
Did the frum community win though ? NO
In one case the women’s parents even joined her X’s cause. Think the judge was impressed? He wasn’t
I have no reason to believe that this women cannot and should not be her children’s legal guardian. But forgive me if I am not so naive to accept that she lost custody over internet exposure.
Shragi, you write,
The issue is this; can anyone name a case where “one partner” in a marriage left ultra-Orthodoxy and the ultra-Orthodox community didn’t do all it could to have the children taken away from them?
If you changed that to “the father left ultra-orthodoxy” , then I would agree with you.
The judicial system may be bias against the OTD, but it tends to favor mothers over fathers, even more so.
can someone post a link of the public records so we can see the ruling?
My father married a shiksa… He decided change and become a Baal teshuva…my mom converted went along for a while, had three kids… But it became too much to strict and she wanted out…
HE changed. He married a shiksa when he wasn’t frum…
Always he did not win custody so he went to the frum community and they helped kidnap his 3 kids to save their neshamas… Our names were changed …we lived everywhere…changing form one Satmar family to another…one step ahead of my Mother… Who dragged some Rabbis to court and they swore under oath not to know where we were when we were in Bais Ruchel in Williamsburg and camp Rav Tov… In plain view.
They do not care about the children… The children end up not frum anyways…except for my oldest sister that they married off at 17… to another boy who’s mother was a Ger… She had her first kid at 19… Where is she going now? She lives in Williamsburg and is a grandma of 3 and 44.
The point is the whole community banded together to help my Father I never had a mother… I was always a Tzedake case…
When u change to Frum…because u went for Shabbos to Chabad etc…now u want to be frum….should your kids be taken from u??? Now u really confused them…new school new clothes…not going over to the non frum grandparents bec they r not kosher or approving of the new lifestyle… Nobody says its damaging to the kids to be a Baal teshuva
But if u change and are not frum anymore…u r UNSTABLE …. Crazy…a danger to the kids with your wild sex life!!!! A bunch of bull crap that they say about every OTD person..
There is even an ad for a Frum psychiatrist who touts her skills at treating all mental disorders including OTD…
These people need to be stopped…I should have sued them for depriving me of my mother and aiding and abetting a kidnapping …but statute of limitations passed and my sister who is in the community begged me not to…she needs to finish marrying off her kids and it would ruin her limited already shidduch chances.
Hoezen,
You do, what?
You didn’t name any cases where the frum community didn’t fight the parent who left, that’s what I asked for.
Trust me he doesn’t want these kids..he’ll be remarried with more babies in an instant…those kids will be babysitting or ignored…
I now have a million step sisters/brothers from My fathers much younger Baal teshuva wife. I didn’t even live with them…continuing no live with Satmar families as they thought it would be too difficult of a change for us to leave Satmar as my Dad is lubavitch now…he she changed again!!! Very stable! Anyways so didnt have a mom or dad…wonderful life saving my neshama…plus us three kids were farmed out to different Satmar families…was great and stable. Yep.
They r the reason I don’t believe in a God.
Ok . This is by far the dumbest article I ever read. I used to think Orthodox Judaism was a religion but I now see OTD is way more of a religion . I love how all the OTDers ( I say that because I assume that’s the purpose of this site) defend each other and vouch for this Mom. Same organized religion , imho. Who are her biggest supporters? A few individuals that claim to have been scorned by the system. What a hoot. They fail to mention their own abandonments on many a nights . Nor their brush with sexual diseases, alcohol ridden nights, and massive irresponsibility. Picturesque parents my foot.
Kelly flip flopped from religion to religion and blamed ” friends” for pushing her into marrying her husband. If you’re that feeble minded and that maliable, you are certainly not strong Mom material.
And Please, are we stupid enough to buy this nonsense? The courts decided this based on religion? Man..Unpious – we are not stupid. Courts don’t give away children because she is irreligious. Post the transcripts. Tell us the real reasons the court did that instead of shamelessly asking for our money and not even pretending not to be bias.
Was it the live- in boyfriend? Her failure to be a selfless devoted mother? Her baloney claims of abuse? Her silly antics of bad mouthing her children’s father TO THE CHILDREN. Her uprooting and confusing her children ? Her lack of stability?
I guess because I don’t see facts. I hear them. I hear people say they have seen it. SO should we blindly believe what you say when the courts who are comprised of intelligent people who aim to do what’s just have ruled otherwise?
Look Unpious- none of us believe a mother should be cut out of a child’s life. Has the mother been cut off completely? Will she still visit? WIll they? Will she still establish a connection with them? Because if so , then she may not have PRIMARY custody – but still be in their lives.
Then perhaps that’s best as she has clearly sent a message that they were not as important as her own needs.
> The bottom line – If you had brought up your kids in a certain lifestyle,You just cannot wake up one day and say I am changing their up bringing this will confuse the hell out of these kids . You brought these kids to this world you have a responsbilty as a parent not to be selfish and change thier lifestyle cause you had decided like that
Tell that to Aish HaTorah and Chabad.
People, just go to the rockland county courthouse and review the testimony, it is mind boggling how a mother like kelly can be so irresponsible. “All” of her witnesses perjured themselves. Kelly perjured herself. If you are going OTD please have some respect in a “secular” court and don’t lie. “All” of the state appointed evaluators testified against Kelly, “all” evaluators testified against her AND that she is mentally ill. Her own psychiatrist testified that she is a terrible liar. And the gullible here are taking her side without her even posting the “entire” decision. People have to be so gullible to believe that the courts including appellate are out to get her. The appellate denied her request rightly. She has ruined her children and the court has the evidence of that. She was the one to orchestrate 8 times allegations against the children’s father and tried to blame it on the pediatrician and it didn’t fly. The evidence was overwhelming against her. Even the story written by shulem is a lie as she herself testified differently in court. Which version are we to believe?
> I used to think Orthodox Judaism was a religion but I now see OTD is way more of a religion . I love how all the OTDers ( I say that because I assume that’s the purpose of this site) defend each other and vouch for this Mom. Same organized religion , imho.
I don’t think you understand what the word “religion” means. What you’re describing is a community.
G*3,
Tell that to Aish HaTorah and Chabad.
You took the words right out of my mouth.
The above is bull crap I am familiar with the case closely
And to make another point unfortunately many mothers (not Kelly) blame fathers of sexually abusing the kids.its a selfish tactic to try to deprive the Father of joint custody etc…a close friend of mine went through this…forensics showed that it was all a lie… The mother was penalized and had to pay my friends attorney fees and it was a considerable sum…she did not lose custody for doing this ..they now have joint custody….
He did not have a tremendous voting block and community money to help him so he did not get to destroy her…
The Mormoms run the police and judges in Salt Lake City … Monsey is the same way…
All Kirov should stop if “change” in lifestyle is unstable and bad for kids… Plus everyone knows Baal teshuvas are fickle and get convinced to be very frum and then change their minds…so stop inviting people or Shabbos with kids. Is that the solution? That way everything stays the same as when u had them,,,because no one changes in life and they shouldn’t dare have free will.
Shragi, you’re right. I won’t fight you on that point.
Just another example of how backwards and disgusting religion is. This mother was trying to protect her children from a man, who by his own admission, hits them and has violent outburst! How does she deserve to lose her kids for protecting them??! Because she no longer wanted to be a part of his screwed up religion??! That is no reason to take children away from a loving mother. She needs to set up a donation fund for her legal fees. I know many people who will help her pay to right this wrong.
Really? A fund. NO. not for her negligence and contempt of court. ANd blatant dishonesty. Hell no. She was a BAD selfish Mom and used fake claims of abuse to try to beat the system. NO.
This is why children should be taught how to use fire.
“She needs to set up a donation fund for her legal fees. I know many people who will help her pay to right this wrong.”
Shulem has set one up. The link is at the bottom of the article.
Wow negligence and contempt of court and unstable and a sexual deviant…what else? Where have I heard this before? Oh yes by other frummies to knock everyone who is OTD.
Why don’t you just swing a chicken around your head and chop its squadking head off in front of the children that’s healthy and stable.
she should get he kids back. and as for the husband, he should be tortured as well as the judge. all people who are not atheists or agnostic should be tortured and subsequently murdered. this is no world for u people, and u people are not welcome here. people of religion kill those who dont agree with them, persecute them, and brainwash children into believing in a Heaven, Hell, and God, all of which do not exist. this makes me sick to think a dedicated mother could lose her children because of another’s religious views.
So let me get this straight. You havn’t read the court transcripts. You have chosen to quote selective parts supplied by the mother. You have never spoken to the father. The mother made a slew of false abuse allegations. The court ruled against the mother.
And what exactly is the problem? Maybe the mom is an unfit parent. I really have no idea and neither do you. BTW, I have no great sympathy with the Satmars, but this article is so clearly biased as to make it one typical of the National Enquirer.
Jimbo: I don’t know what you’re referring to exactly. I, in fact, read the court’s ruling very carefully, beginning to end, in the original. Quite a few times. I quoted Kelly only when referring to her own words. All quotes from the judge were taken directly from the ruling.
SO tell us SHulem Deen since you claim to have read the documents. WHat is the reason the court gave for Kelly not receiving custody? Please post those verbatim. SInce we are sure the court didn’t say it has anything to do with her religious choice? What is the reason the court stated?
And no. Not all who go OTD do become that way. many live wonderful productive lives- but lets say it like it is- many have put their own wants before their childrens.
LASTLY- Shulem since you read the documents. DOes Kelly get to see her children now?
This unfortunately is not uncommon when someone decides this lifestyle isnt exactly for them.I myself am a frum Baal Tsuvah who divorced a satmarer because I could no longer stand the “do as I say,not as I do” mentality he was pushing.He wanted me to go to shiurim but he never did,let alone set foot in a shul if it wasnt shabbos and his friends werent there to hang with .He was verbally and financially abusive and regularly degraded me in front of my children.occasionally turning off the computer a few hours after shabbos started..This story sounds all too familiar and I am now awaiting our trial date to keep him from taking my children from me.The community here is financially supporting his fight to take them even though there is no proof I abuse them or neglect them in any way.In so many years of marriage I never I never abused them all of a sudden the second I divorce him I have CPS at my door.He kidnapped them from me stating that he thinks Im going to kill the kids.Thankfully the judge ordered he return them or get jail time.I dont even spank them.As far as I know yelling every now and then has never been fatal.
I have not changed my lifestyle at all.The whole time we were married I dressed the same way I do now.I am still 100% shomer mitzvah but he has spread lies in the community that I go with men ,wear pants,and go without my hair covered in public.He can prove none of this but everyone assumes a BT is unstable.So they believe him.They should know how many FFB’ers live a double lives.I believe there are people who believe what they are teaching in these places ..but many just wear the uniform.I am not a chasid.Im a jew.My kids did not grow up in a strict chasidish house like he is trying to argue in court…they grew up in a jewish home.A home where they seen the occasion animal planet video (usually with their dad).A home where my non frum parent visited regularly. Children who grow up with BT moms or dads are not “confused” by seeing other types of jews..Their BT parent was in this family raising the children together with the FFB parent before the divorce.Both sides should be represented in court because both sides certainly were influencing the children when the couple was still living together.What about children who grew up with a parent in the military.They moved every few years..thats a big change..could be confusing right? There are plenty of children whos parents have become frum too.. no one takes these kids and says its too confusing.When a child sees a parent suffering from an illness..this is also disruptive to their development..ITS LIFE.Give me a break as long as children are in a loving stable environment they adjust.
Someone should start a legal fund for people in this situation who cannot afford the high price attorney the other guys can.Most men who do this do not even pay fair child support and some how get away with it by cooking the books to make it look like they have no income.My ex is doing this.He has gleefully told everyone he wants to see me suffer.Taking my children and trashing my name is all part of the agenda.He is not thinking of the children.He just wants to get back at me for wanting a divorce.
Im thankful Im not going in front of this judge.The community does “block vote” so she will likely be re-elected as long as she does their bidding.Funny,the whole community is on medicaid,food stamps and section 8 but can manage to get together the money to buy off politicians and viciously fight outsiders in court.The whole system is corrupt.What a shame.
This whole area is Jewish Mafia – including the judge:
http://newyork.newsday.com/news/region-state/moses-stern-developer-in-spring-valley-probe-owed-rockland-judge-sherri-eisenpress-firm-500g-1.5010612
“I have no words. I am in so much pain, and I can’t escape it. I feel so helpless and scared and confused”
What about the pain of all the fathers that have lost custody to their kids, does anyone care about their pain? It is just as painful for a father as it is for a mother to lose custody. Its about time the world recognized the pain that 99% of fathers who go through divorces have to endure, yes the court system is corrupt, because it automatically grants custody to the mother.
I am not taking any side in this case as I have not heard all the facts, one needs to hear both sides in order to make an intelligent decision.
What a nightmare.
Time to start bombarding the NYS Commission on Judicial Conduct with letters: http://www.nycbar.org/pdf/brochures/Complaints_Lawyers_Judges/complain_against_court_personnel.pdf
This is my first time here and I have to say that what has happened is such a tragedy. I’m not religious but I know my faith. I have to believe that Hashem loves all of us regardless of how short or how long someone’s beard is or if they go to a mikvah on a regular basis. Live a pious life to the best of one’s ability. Hashem will decide who the fakers are and who are the devout. This is how I live but I do the best that I can.
1. It is commonly known that divorce attorneys counsel the wife to allege sexual and physical abuse even where none had existed. I don’t know if it is true or not in this case, but ex-wives in general and the boy who cried abuse.
2. What a story. She is a baalas teshuva to satmar, of course she gets set up with the rebel who nobody else will marry, and she doesn’t know better because she doesn’t have parents in the community to research for her.
3. I feel bad for her, but it does make sense that the kids should stay with the religion that the marriage was built around. Consider it in the opposite–they are a secular couple and she divorces him and becomes satmar and sends the kids to satmar schools and camps and will marry off the daughters in arranged marriages. Wouldn’t you hear a good argument to take away her custody? I would.
4. This is why I wouldn’t marry a BT. I don’t trust that they will stably remain as they are, and the proof is that they swung wildly in the past.
I am amazed with this woman’s courage. Her strength, to stand up this cult with power and not quiver. I was physically abused as a child and wish I had a mother like this. We should be praising her not condemning her.
Ethan
That’s right people, because her sex life and the kids being religious are WAY more important than the physical and mental health of the children. Religion is EVIL and its followers enable the evil in this world to occur.
F YOU ALL!!
Chaim,
You obviously are taking sides.
If the mother was physically abusive then yea, place the kids with their dad. But guess what, it is the dad who was showing signs of abuse. The dad should NOT have those children. It is NEVER okay tolay your hands on another person, let alone a child.
https://www.facebook.com/ENDPOLITICALCORRUPTIONINFAMILYCOURT/posts/556506051074933
Ha, this judge is a corrupt judge who will happily take a bribe. I would say this all the proof you need that she is unfit for her role and all her judgements should be put under review.
What I find the most laughable is that this woman had MEDICAL AND PSYCHIATRIC PROFESSIONALS independently verify the abuse to her children and all you religious nut jobs think that’s OK as long as the kids are raised in your community under your rules.
Guess what, YOU are what is going to make those kids atheist. And when you do, I will be sitting here on the internet with my fellow heathens just waiting for them to ask for help removing themselves from your villainous clutches. Cos it WILL happen.
I bet this lady is still frum, either stam frum or modern orthodox, just not chassidish anymore. The husband is a Satmar buum. Most bt’s – myself included become really really frum and over time realize the shallowness of the fanatacism and just mellow out. That’s probably what happened here. Meanwhile, look at the heilige hubby here – bringing in a TV immediately after the chasuna – no excuse for that. Falling asleep with headphones on on the wedding night? The doctors and care givers finding signs of abuse and a judge who is part of a federal corruption probe involving chassidim? My side is with Kelly Myzner, not the Satmar BUM. Being from Fakewood, NJ, I totally get what happened here.
Do you have any primary sources for the information contained in this article? A copy of the judge’s order? I would appreciate if we are able to review the record. Thanks.
I feel sorry for her children. ANd her. I see some questions here weren’t answered that I too wonder about
1. Does she get to see the kids?
2. What is the reason the courts have given?
3. How come she lied under oath and why did her own witnesses purjur themselves ( that’s what I read)
By the way, having a TV doesn’t make you not frum. Girls today are not realistic with their expectations and they are very naïve . Even good boys want to chill and watch. No crime in that .
Kelly seems a little untrustworthy as does this article.
I don’t understand how a responsible person, let alone a mother, can file eight times false allegations against her children’s father?
if she lied under oath doesn’t it make sense that she lies on the Internet?
She was represented in court by Daniel Schwartz the former president of the Ramapo school board. He is a high priced lawyer. And she claims to have been represented by a shelter. Pure fantasy. Believe what you want
BT Chaya Kurtz of xojane could benefit from a read of this article.
Before saying anything I want to comment that any child who has been assaulted or sexually abused by a parent should immediately be removed from that parent no questions asked.
Having said that – there are two sides to every story and I would like to see the public record too. While everybody reading this is familiar with religious extremism by Satmar, and they are extreme and crazy (look at Weberman’s victim, look at Deborah Feldman’s experience) her side of the story doesn’t ring true completely.
For example, she says she changed her views on religion AFTER splitting up rather than BEFORE. Usually a breakup is the culmination of a lot of fighting, negativity, etc.
Also, and I don’t know the law on this, she did choose a community that is very insular and different than the rest of the world. It is more than confusing to take a child out of that world – it can be shattering. I was Modern Orthodox and basically gave it up for being Conservadox, and that was extremely tough on my family. To go from Chasidish to secular is much more extreme.
Instead of scapegoating Satmar (doesn’t that seem a little too easy) how about people look at the facts, go by the facts, and try to do right by everyone here.
I feel bad for this lady, the judge should not have ruled with all the facts of what the father did to the kids that they should live with the father. The father with his abuse can harm the kids more than a culture and religion shock could. If the judge thinks it is a culture shock then the Judge should have said that they should stay in the same schools and the mother is not forced to practice religion but she should not forbid her children to, and help them keep their religion. And no religious people are not robots, we have a Torah we follow and if you realize the Goyim live, the Torah Hakdosha is the right and only way to live. Yet, a new balas Tshuva who went through so much in life whos beleif is still shaky cannot be blammed for leaving religion, we should all still love her and help her see and understand why the Orthodox way is the correct way. But Chas V’shalom we should never condem her for what happened to her. Rather, we should ask for her name __ bas_ and daven that everything that Hashem knows is good for her should happen and her kids should be safe.
David:
You make a good point. One can form a more educated opinion if one knows both sides of the story.
David:
I would not say that someone is a fool if they form an opinion re this case without hearing the husband’s side of the story. They are just not as informed as they could be.
Clearly, neither parent is healthy. kids will need major therapy.
By the way to the comment maker that said that the court would not say that they are removing the kids because she is less religious and there are other reasons they were removed….. The court said it IS because of religious reasons and the kids shouldn’t be confused by a change in lifestyle … What is the change in lifestyle??
Next point… If she made up all these lies of abuse why does he NOT have his kids??? It was confirmed they were abused by him… So they are in foster care!! Foster. Care not with other parent.
He threw so much dirt on her…she did the same… So now the kids are with neither parent.
Bravo well done…this is very stable for the kids. Very healthy.
When will responsible Moms and Dads realize to put their own differences aside and learn to put their kids first.
Just because people HAVE reproductive organs doesn’t mean they need to use em.
Kelly. Grow up. Dump your boytoy. Close our dam legs.Stop looking at the media for attention. Stop with your modeling career ( realistic please) and FOCUS. GET it together and work 24seven to be true mother material.
Nobody answered the question by the way- does she still get to see her kids? If yes, tehn perhaps this is best for now. SHut up. And grow up . And show your kids they come first. Not facebook. facebook don’t give a hoot.
I know a lot about this case, and in true form the chassidim are out in the mass and twisting their lies as usual.
I saw the transcripts and her morals and parenting were never an issue here. To the contrary, his was very much an issue. Let’s get a couple of things straight.
He is an Eckstien product and a well-known animal in the community. The kids were NOT given to him because there is an established pattern of abuse. I have spoken with some people that are very much involved ( sorry cant disclose names) and they have so much stuff on this man ( including his backers: Y. Shtul, Y. Fried and M. Freund) that it is not even funny.
CPS has written 2 reports against the husband and yet this skanky judge Eisenpress who has a very close connection to Moshe Stern and others (to be revealed soon) never gave her a chance.
I will tell you guys, that there will be hell to pay for many and the legal system will come down on them very hard.
Say whatever you want about this woman (she is smart, she is dumb, she is blah and blah), she is a good mother and even the husband admitted this in court.
The facts are that the Jewish community leaders have had a nice run controlling municipal entities in NY particularly in Rockland County, but it will come to a crushing halt very soon.
No woman should endure this kind of pain. And yes as a Ex chussid, this cannot happen soon enough. The chassidim as a hole think of themselves holier than tough while breaking every rule in the books.
I have taken it upon myself to cause hell. I know hundreds that live off food stamps, FAKE section eight and many other BS. I have contacted the DA’s office ( Jay Street in Brooklyn) and volunteered to cause mayhem in this community. Let the whole world see what crooks you are! Hope you all get arrested and feel the taste of it.
You guys ( yes you guys) are disgusting selfish pigs with no accountability – that is until today!
Ken you scumbag she DOES work in the city ( full time job) for starters. Second even if she DOES open her legs ( as she did with her ex before marriage) its none of your business, and has no effect on this case, she is a single woman.
Guys this is how chassidim answer everything with slander and non sense!
This whole spectacle is so sad. Jew vs. Jew.
Post the public information so that we can see what was said.
If the judge did the wrong thing then investigate that.
But don’t use a marriage gone wrong as an excuse to rail for or against G-d, Judaism, men, women, or the moon.
We have not learned anything from all these years in Golus unfortunately…it does not help to spread hatred.
This is not about religion but about the safety of these children. If the mother feels they are being abused and both child welfare and family court are ignoring evidence, she must write to the commissioner of Child welfare as well as the agency for judicial misconduct the address of which someone listed above- also the bar association should be shown the details of the caes. Family court is not supposed to weigh in on religious matters- it is a constitutional matter
I really don’t think this case should become about ALL Hasidim in Rockland county! The family court judge here was obviously out of bounds ruling on matters of religion and the bar association should be contacted immediately.
Listen, you seem like a girl who jumps to conclusion without doing your due diligent. Who gets married that fast? Who become Hassidic that fast? Its not easy being jewsih none the less hassidic. There are good jews and bad jews. There are good hassidim and bad ones. Next time take your time before making any major changes in your life.
So it’s less confusing and traumatic to be in foster care than with your own parent who maybe isn’t so frum anymore? What a crock.
The most important question here is how can we help.
For what it’s worth, I worked in the courts in New York (City) for two decades. This isn’t the first case of an absurd ruling in a custody battle. And I’ve been in the courtroom for some pretty horrible ones. But this is one where the judge has a clear motivation to side with “the community”: Re-election. The mother doesn’t have a voting bloc to offer the judge, like the father does.
Seriously, Shulem … how can we help?
I found the indiegogo page. There’s a start.
Does she have competent legal counsel?
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